7376/19896
Off on a half term break to Norfolk today. We’re not too far away from Herring Bridge, which
Hitler attempted to destroy with a bomb attack the other day. That man will do anything to stop a bridge being sort of named after me. He did some bad things, but nothing worse than this. He mistimed it though, the one-balled idiot, because my bridge doesn’t even open til 2023. We beat you again Adolf. Though you have to admire the scope of his plan and his foresight in realising that I would one day take the piss out of him, so he needed to plan some kind of revenge. You'd think he of all people would know that bomb plots often don't work out.
On the journey I stopped to get a sandwich and on a whim picked up some Wotsit Crunchy Flaming Hot crisps. I am a fan of the Wotsit (or as we’re known amongst the community as the Orange Fingered) and have been for many years and I have appreciated their recent Giant Wotsit innovation (people said they’d never be able to make Wotsits that big, but they believed in themselves and they did it - but they’re still not giant enough for me), so was interested to see what Ian Wotsit had come up with now.
What he seems to have come up with is spicy Nik Naks, which are very nice but which already exist. I don’t know what to think. It seems very wrong to advertise something as belonging to the Wotsit Universe and then give customers something that is clearly an entirely different crisp (and one that already exists). It’s all very well calling it Wotsit Crunchy, but the USP of the Wotsit is that is fluffy and melty, like a more palatable version of the polystyrene things that stuff is sometimes wrapped in. You can’t call it a Wotsit and then sell a totally different thing. Especially if the thing has already been made.
I don’t know if Wotsits own the right to Nik Naks. I note that
Nik Naks were originally called Crunchy Wotsits (yet there's not indiciation that they were affiliated with actual Wotsits) but it seems Nik Naks are still being made, so why are Wotsits moving in on Nik Nik territory and even if there is some agreement, why are they being marketed as Wotsits, when they clearly aren’t anything like Wotsits. Is it revenge for Nik Naks having been originally marketed as Wotsits, even though they weren't anything to do with Wotsits and bore no resemblance to them?
Don’t get me wrong, it was a very moreish snack, but I couldn’t enjoy it properly because my mind was full of copyright and misnaming issues. Why were these Nik Naks being labelled as Wotsits and what kind of idiot would think that a Wotsit could ever end up looking like this. It would have to be in some kind of terrible accident involving heat or acid, which made me think I was eating the victims of some crisp factory disaster and I could only imagine the pain that those Wotsits had suffered to end up in this corrupted state.
What is going on? And can Ian Wotsit and Ian Niknak resolve these difficulties. And please can the government do something to ensure snacks are not mislabelled in this way every again.
8/10
The short film I made with Bilal Zafar, Stevie Martin and director Ben Mallaby and his crew
is now up to view here. There was a fair amount of improv in this as you can see from
these funny outtakes. I had no idea that the character would be called Little Daddy until those words came out of my mouth and Stevie was not anticipating that the puppet would ask her to sit on it. When not corpsing, Stevie Martin is so brilliant in this. Reaction masterclass. I don’t know why I am credited, I don’t even appear.
I love working with these guys though and it's impressive how we were all on the same page throughout this. Everything flowed without discussion. Apart from when we were laughing, which to be fair was most of the time.
I just bought the puppet of myself along on the off-chance it might be useful, which it did turn out to be. So nice to see Richard Ison and indeed Thomas Herring credited for their work. I wonder what my great grandad would think of that. Probably be a bit confused. But nice to see his work get the credit it deserves 131 years later.
