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And to think that if everyone in the world had just agreed to stay indoors for two weeks in February 2020 that all of this would have been over for nearly two years.
I wrote a joke this morning "Sure, riding in a one horse open sleigh is fun, but have you ever tried sex.â€
And when you come up with something that good you take the rest of the day off. It doesn't matter that the joke isn't great. I'd already written my one joke for this year, though I forget what that was.
I didn't take the rest of the day off. I did a little bit of work on my book and prepped for another unbelievable Twitch of Fun.
I had two Soleros today, which is a bad sign. I think the stress of the situation we;'re about to find ourselves in again might be getting to me, as I ate a load of extra food at lunch. But I'd had my first Solero at about 10am which is much too early. You know you're an addict when you're Soleroing at that hour, especially in the winter months.
I actually had a Solero in the wild on Tuesday, at Kings Cross and it struck me that whenever I have bought a Solero as a one off from a lolly freezer they have always been horrible. The ones you buy from the supermarket are much better. Have they just been stored badly by the single lolly sellers? Or as they not as frozen. There was more taste to the wild one, but it was an unpleasant taste. How can anyone get a Solero so wrong? Or are my home ones so frozen that you can't really find out the actual unpleasant taste.
I don't know. But it did give me the idea to become an observational comedian who only does observations about Soleros. It would mainly be how horrible Mixed Berry Solero is, how exotic is great but only if you've got a three pack, what eating a Solero too early in the day shows about your mental state and maybe for the hour long show a deep dive into how the ice cream was invented and the process to make it (I know Katy Brand once told me there was something extraordinary about it - I can't remember now, but I could look into that). Any of the audience who didn't eat a lot of Soleros might be lost, but I can't worry about the people who don't like my Solero material. I am doing this for the millions who are crying out to say what we're all thinking about one specific lolly.
I should at least get one corporate a year at Walls ice cream. Though maybe they would want to relax and not have jokes about lollies at Christmas.
