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In many ways 2021 has been the worst year of my (admittedly incredibly cushy) life. I am pleased to see it draw to a close, but there's enough shitstorm clouds gathering on the horizon to suggest 2022 might be worse. I suppose on the plus side I can't lose more testicles than I did in 2021, but I can lose as many.
I am still successfully drinking at least a litre and a half of water a day. It turns out that if an oncologist tells me to do something then I do it. Mine told me to lose weight and I duly did (seemingly to his surprise) and he told me to drink more water and I did. I can only fear what he will tell me to do next. What if he tells me I have to kill the President? Or worse. I'd have to do it. With great oncology comes great responsibility.
The big lesson of 2021 for me was that I really don't want to die. Ever preferably, but certainly yet. So although some might see it as negative to end the year with less body parts than you started it with, I think that it might have given me more positives than negatives. Losing some weight and finding out that my kidneys need me to drink more water are some pretty good payoffs for the loss of one love egg. Get yourself an oncologist. Sure it means you have to have cancer first, but it might just be worth it.
We had quite a few social plans for this coming week, but looks like they will be pretty much all cancelled. Omicron has reached the village and the school is closing early as so many kids have gone down with the virus. Luckily our kids go to village in the next village over and that was closing today anyway. But this time it looks like it's a question of when, rather than if and the only variable is whether we can stay Corona-free until next Saturday. It's funny how the virus got so successfully rebranded from Corona isn't it? I wonder if next year it will seem weird that we once called it Covid.
Some theatres have already shut down and we've elected not to go and see a panto in London on Sunday. Even if things stay open I think it will be hard to entice people out into venues for the next month or so at least. I am, of course, all geared up to move fully online, but I think another lockdown will surely break the industry (and many other industries). It's especially cruel in the days before Christmas. I've always tended to eschew December gigs, because they can be pretty lairy, but this month is the bread and butter for hospitality and entertainment. Even if we're back in January it's going to make a huge impact.
The Tory party imploding is hardly any consolation, largely because I suspect that they will ride the storm and I fully expect Boris to stay in his job. Knowing his luck the whole Ukraine situation will create World War Three and he'll bumble his way through and somehow history will judge him as our generation's Churchill and forget all the terrible things he did before. Like they did with Churchill.
A world war might just overshadow the Christmas party fiasco too. If I was his advisor I'd be telling him to get one started asap. Even if he started a nuclear war to save himself I think the Express would say he was doing a good job.
Retro RHLSTP with Diane Morgan - wherever you get your podcasts.
