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Monday 14th February 2005

So the third Valentine's Day of my Warming Up reign. So far the pattern has run: in a relationship, not in a relationship, in a relationship. Will this spooky pattern continue next year? Only time will tell. Apparently today is second only to Christmas as the day upon which the most money is spent on gifts and cards. You poor foolish saps. You are being played like a choir of recorders in the mouths of the Fat Cats from "Greeting Cards and Gift Incorporated". And the result is an overwhelming cacophony. How can the beautiful emotion of love produce such ugliness.
I have a proposal that will be one in the eye for those Fat Cats. Let's dedicate every single other day of the year to giving gifts and cards to our lovers, but refuse to purchase anything for them on February 14th. Then the previously profitable Valentine's Day market will become a money desert for the Fat Cats, who will have to make do with the money they will now earn on the remaining 364 days of the year (or 365 days in a Leap Year). Plus it will be a real test of love to have to come up with romantic gestures 364 days a year (or 365 days in a Leap Year), rather than the easy once a year that the present system allows for. I don't know how this system would affect St Skeletor's Day. That is the only thing that I haven't worked out.

On a different note I discovered the elite cats message board today, you will probably remember how I discussed these hairless monstrocities (here and here)
Well apparently my thoughts were discovered by someone on the site, for whom it seems my attempts at humour did not translate. The issue is confusingly discussed here. (mainly in Russian, though someone has included an odd translation) This is the bit I am referring to:
"There are afflictions in a life. It was necessary to find in a net the information about the nursery, but not simple, but dirty. In one Internet the project the person it is visible has a good time vile insinuations.
Competently constructed site, excellent design and navigation. It is asked, why the person wanted to blacken nursery of cats which never did evil to anybody?
We could not understand too, but conclusions think of by it: the project is constructed only on black PR and scandals from outside of.
Though... If to read all posts... Full bewilderment, is visible he didn't like us in absentia.
It has begun with the letter in the same site. There one of his friends or tippers-of explains (the information is not kept) that he checked our nursery and we indeed that for who itself give.
He writes, that could not leave indifferent from our site and has left record in guest, but has not decided to leave the address
[/b]and that will find... as he writes[b]
Is direct Russian mafia..."
Though Rob Sedgebeer can take some comfort in the fact that these hairless cat lovers believe the site is well constructed and I can take some comfort in the fact that they apparently don't understand how to use html, I am a little worried by the somewhat cryptic comment about the Russian Mafia. Do you think that thanks to my confusion over this unsolicited piece of email I am now a marked man? Is insulting hairless cats akin to insulting the entire Russian nation? Would this be the most ridiculous issue over which a person has ever got whacked? Watch this space to find out (If things suddenly go a bit quiet then in all likelihood the answer to all these questions was "yes")
I love the internet.

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