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Wednesday 3rd June 2009

Eased off the gas a little bit today to attempt to avert exhaustion. It's always hard to get going after a late night drive home and allowed myself a sleep in.
I then managed a much needed trip to the gym, before sitting in the cafe there and reading the paper and watching the world go round, whilst I idly considered what on earth I might do at tomorrow night's first preview show of "Hitler Moustache." I've got lots of things to talk about, though not many of them are really formulated into routines yet, but it's the kick up the arse I need. And with round about forty more previews to come before I hit Edinburgh I am not too worried about it just yet. The gig tomorrow though, I imagine, will be like a one man podcast - mainly improvised and veering wildly from topic to topic and will include material that will not be in the show. If that sounds like fun then come along to the Canal Cafe. But it won't be fun. It will be embarrassing. As is always the case at this horrible time of year.
The new gym I am going to, has, as I think I mentioned, a kids club and is very family orientated and there are always lots of children in the cafe, running around and making a nuisance of themselves. I have a lot of time for children and usually enjoy their antics, but maybe it says something about the class of people who frequent this gym, or maybe it says something about me post-exercise, but most of the ones here are pretty obnoxious.One boy was trapped outside by the tennis courts and really wanted to come inside, but his dad didn't want him to. The youngster stood at the doors, with a look of fury on his face, pulling at the doors, which he was not strong enough to budge - and in any case needed to be pushed. I enjoyed seeing his exasperated face through the glass. He pretty much summed up all that it was to be human in those few minutes: the selfishness, the childishness, the anger, the impotence. It was great to see him not getting his way, mainly due to his own weakness and incompetence. I hated for it. Which seemed harsh as he was just a four year old child, behaving as four year olds do.
At least I have worked hard to be able to afford to pay £70 a month for the privilege of not coming here quite often enough, what's he done? He's not had to pay for it or work for it, he's just had to plop out of a middle class vagina and it's all there on a plate for him. Even though I am clearly completely middle class and have had a ridiculously privileged life (or maybe because of that) I was glad he was failing to get inside and hated his little short handled tennis racquet that he was holding in his arms, impeding his progress any further, but which he didn't want to use.
I could have just gone and opened the door for him, but instead I just watched and smiled and hoped he'd look at me and see my delight. But he didn't. His face was probably too screwed up with frustration to see anything.
I got back home in the late afternoon and did a tiny bit more work on the book and also did a little bit of early prep work for a new sketch/stand up show that I am going to be doing on Monday nights in the autumn at the Leicester Sq theatre and which will be released on iTunes. It's called, "As It Occurs To me" and it's going to made up of things I have thought about that week and reconstructions of stuff that has happened to me. I've been trying to get a show like this on the radio for ages, but it's so difficult to get through the commissioning process and it's so annoying to have to deal with compliance censoring anything that is remotely amusing, so I thought I'd just make it myself and stick it out as a podcast. Costs will be covered (and with luck a little money might be made) by people buying tickets to come and see it live. I don't know if tickets are on sale yet, but stick it in your diary. It's every Monday night from 12th October to 14th December (not sure of the time of performance). I am delighted to say that TV's Emma Kennedy and Dan Tetsell will be performing alongside me. So it should be a lot of fun. And improvised and uncensored. It will be available, for free on iTunes soon after recording.
This is the future, my friends. Let us destroy the old order and create a brave new world.
I watched "No Country For Old Men" tonight. It's really, really good. I have got a bit bored of cinema and the predictability of all films, but this one is surprising and adult and brilliantly performed and treats its audience like they might be intelligent. I am not intelligent, but like to be treated that way.

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