6281/19211
Edinburgh accommodation secured and paid for. I was almost grateful to the letting company when they said we could have 10% off if we paid up front. Oh thank you sir, so kind of you sir. Let’s not consider the huge cost of paying for 12 nights of accommodation and parking, let’s just celebrate you for giving me a day and a bit for free…
And then it suddenly struck me why they might have exhibited this unusual generosity…..The Coronavirus.
There’s a chance that this spreading virus might put the world on lockdown and that all cultural events and gatherings will be cancelled. If the Fringe doesn’t happen, these guys will still have got their hugely marked up rent. A 10% discount means nothing. Well played landlords. And a frightening prospect for Fringe performers that they might have to pay out all their expenses and then have no chance to claw any of it back. In many ways this will be worse than dying from a virus. What a gamble I have just taken. Knowing my luck the Fringe will be cancelled and I’ll have spent all that money AND I will die from the virus.
The only good bit about the Coronavirus is that you get a 10p refund if you take your empty dead body back to the shop afterwards.
There’s a joke that some old people might get.
In some ways it will be nice to just have the financial loss of the Fringe without having to do any of the actual work. I’d happily pay thousands of pounds for that privilege. Ah the wonderful jeopardy.
I also signed my contract for the venue so I am super committed not. Tickets will be on sale on March 18th I think and my show is 2.30pm at the New Town Theatre from 7th-16th August. Now you have to decide if it’s worth risking buying tickets in advance, though I would assume you will be refunded if the Fringe gets cancelled. It’s going to be an interesting year though. I think we should maybe all just deliberately get Coronavirus, like when a kid gets chicken pox and gives it to all of this mates. A few hundred thousand of us will die, but at least the rest of us can still go to football matches and comedy gigs and forget about washing our hands.
When I was a kid my favourite TV show (grown up one at least) was Survivors, which I was much too young to watch. I only remember the opening titles now, but it pretty much predicted this whole thing. To be honest we could do with a few less people. I for one welcome the Coronavirus. Do your worst you little prick.
