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Wednesday 10th August 2005

A good review on Chortle was a nice start to the day. I had hoped this year that I would be impervious to mood swings based on what the critics say. But alas the three stars in the Metro slightly depressed me and the good one today lifted me again. This is genuinely mainly down to the fact that I know I still need god press to get the punters in, so every mediocre review is a wasted opportunity and a further chunk of debt to cope with. Of course I also want to have my work recognised as well, but mainly because that means that I will continue to be able to work. I still hate the way a reviewer can affect my mood, even if it is for the better. And I am annoyed that I am still not immune to Edinburgh paranoia and depression/elation after all this time. I am still mainly having a great time, but would have a better time if I was popular enough not to care about what anyone writes about me. Only about 70 in tonight, which is still not a bad result and of course everyone was suffering in the dead zone of the middle of week one. If thatÂ’s the lowest audience I get then I will be very happy.
Saw a couple more shows today, though the most impressive spectacle was something I saw on the way to the gym. A couple of men were cleaning the glass building next door and in order to do so they were abseiling from the roof and keeping themselves in place with a sucker that they attached to the window. They looked like something out of the SAS or a Tom Cruise movie, except instead of killing baddies or stealing priceless diamonds, they were mainly cleaning windows. Well at least when I was looking at them. They might kill baddies and steal stuff on other occasions, but when I happened to spot them they werenÂ’t doing this. ItÂ’s a weird juxtaposition of an extremely cool way of doing a pretty uncool job. IÂ’m not a woman, but I would imagine that women would look at them abseiling down the building and think they were quite cool and sexy, and then notice that they were cleaning windows and suddenly become confused about their feelings.
I think if I was a woman I would ultimately conclude that the coolness of the method overcame the uncoolness of the job (especially if the men claimed that occasionally they also stole diamonds and killed terrorists) and then have full sexual intercourse with them both. But as I am not a woman I didnÂ’t do that. And anyone who says they saw me propositioning the two men and asking me if I could touch their suckers, is lying.
As we went into the gym Diane and me discussed the men – “You could write about them in Warming Up” she said.
I pulled a face that I think told her that it wasnÂ’t her place to tell me what to write about and that in any case I was sure something more interesting than seeing some men cleaning windows would happen to me today.
She pulled a face back that I took as meaning, “I wouldn’t bet on it mate.”
She is always right. I must remember never to pull sarcastic faces at her.

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