Our time at the lighthouse and amongst the untrustworthy people of Wales came to an all too sudden end this morning as the time had come to head home. The loneliness of the lighthouse life became too much for me. We had only the company of each other and the friendly man and his grumpy wife, their two kids and the four other people staying in the place. And a dog called Sparky. I was looking forward to getting back to the house I live alone in in London.
But I was still more of a lighthouse keeper than most of you will ever be, so don't come over all - he could only manage the planned two nights with that kind of desolation.
Until you have endured the life that I've experienced of tea and coffee making facilities in the room, a large breakfast (all inclusive) and NO BATH (just a shower) then you can't criticise me.
We stopped off at Tintern Abbey on the way home. I am glad King Henry VIII stole all the lead off the roof and the glass out of the windows and kicked out all the monks. I hate monks. They are idiots. If you want to devote your life to God, then don't hide yourself away in a big church with a load of other self-obsessed, like minded men with stupid the wrong way round hair cuts, chastising yourself for not being perfect. Go out, enjoy the precious life that God has seen fit to give you and if you still feel guilty then maybe do some stuff to help other people. Getting up at 2am to go to prayers isn't helping anyone (except possibly yourself if that kind of thing gets you into Heaven - in which case you're being selfish and so must go to Hell). Go and bind a poor man's wounds or free an otter from a piece of barbed wire (or medieval equivalent) or have sex with an old woman who hasn't had any for ages and is desperate and lonely. Only through this acts of roaming charity will you find true salvation. I don't know why I'm telling you this, you are medieval and even if you weren't you would eschew the internet as an evil work of Satan. You read the Bible. You saw what Jesus said about religious laws and the kingdom of Heaven being within. Don't spend your time contemplating your soul and brewing extremely strong and ultimately marketable alcoholic drinks. Go and do some Christian things.
OK, King Henry VIII ruined a perfectly nice building (and i like to think he stole the lead and windows personally, at one point nearly slipping off the roof due to his kingly girth), but he gave those monks a much needed kick up the arse and got them out where they belonged. Amongst the people.
I have a 2:1 in modern history from Oxford University.
