588/21507
The most amazing thing happened to me last night (at least according to my Apple Watch). I slept for 7 hours and 58 minutes (I know that's incredible, but that's not all of it) and I didn't wake up ONCE. I did not need a single night time wee. I slept for (basically) eight hours undisturbed and without my bladder or any of my children nudging me awake.
I can't remember the late time this happened and I am pretty sure it will never happen to me again. I just had to tell someone. I didn't even snap awake at 3am to stress over the fact that I shouldn't have shoplifted in the 1990s. Is the secret to write all my sins down in here and then I will never be troubled by them again. Even that time I killed a few people.
Maybe. Maybe not.
I still felt knackered to be honest, but it's a moral victory. Not just for me. But for all nearly 59 year olds. Is it possible someone in their 60s could sleep uninterrupted for 8 hours? I am going to go for the record.
I had a gig to go to, a rather oddly timed 4.30pm gig in the rather oddly placed Droitwich. Even though it was part of a festival (the Rik Mayall one) I didn't think anyone would come but it more or less sold out the minute the tickets went on sale. And I have to say 4.30pm is a great time to do a tour show. We left my house about midday, before traffic had got Friday bad and were packed up and ready to come home by 6.30pm. I am writing this in the car on the way back(someone else is driving). It's 7.40pm. There's not much traffic and if I don't need a wee or dinner (and last night suggests that I don't any more - if this is the cost of a fucked spleen then I am all for it) then I will be home before 9pm. I could be in bed by 10pm. I might wake up at 6am without even having done a wee or woken up in shame.
Would this work everywhere? My fans are pretty old and a lot of them either have retired or are unable to find work, so maybe 4.30pm might be the way forward for the next tour. In all seriousness it might well work at the weekend - nice afternoon gig for my elderly demographic. But today is Friday and even though there's nothing to do in Droitwich but lick salt (look it up) the place was heaving and the audience very appreciative.
My guest was Mitch Benn who rivals Brian Blessed for loquaciousness, but I got a couple of shots in and there's some very funny and interesting stuff in these (what will be) two podcasts. Just like the old days (and the similarly loquacious Bernie Clifton one) it was a 90 minute show with one guest (obviously it's always just one guest). Mitch is a national treasure and unbelievably prodigious. And that's me saying that. He's done at least one (different) show a day throughout this (I think) 9 day festival. He was heading of to do his Beatles show as soon as he finished mine.
What a man!
