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Ernie bought me flowers today.
Does he read my blog? I may have asked him last night at bedtime why I hadn't got flowers and if he only loved his mum. I told him I was joking, but he feels things deeply and wants to make everyone happy, so after going on the swings in his suit and tie, we went to the shop and he picked up presents for me.
Our local shop must love him as he has bought two of the most raggedy bunch of roses that I've ever seen outside of a garden bin, but it's the thought that counts.
He also bought me a bunch of bananas instead of some chocolate as he wants to help me stay fit. The bananas made the roses look fresh.
He also bought loads more Reece's Pieces. I think he might just have realised that if he goes to the shop on his own and pretends to buy stuff for other people, he can also spend the change on stuff for himself.
That's unfair. He's a sweetheart. Who is just skimming a little off the top for himself.
For the future historians who I know love my blog way more than the stupid long dead people who read it (or failed to) at the time of publication, I'd just like to say that if you want an example of something that sums up where humanity is in 2026, then write a book about the Artemis II mission and the social media response to it.
On the one hand you have an extraordinary human accomplishment, where money was used not to build bombs to blow up schools, but to send humans as far away from earth as they had ever been and then somehow get them back to the planet again. Wonderful, brave, intelligent people who've done something with their life, backed by incredible scientists.
Then on the other hand you have people who might never get more than 2 feet off the earth's surface, sitting at home and going online to say why they think it is all fake. Because they have spotted some inconsistency that means none of it can be real.
It's like the best and worst of humanity, the cleverest and stupidest people facing off against each other.
I saw so many instances of people thinking they had outsmarted the idiots who had put this hoax together.
Why did the mission take 10 days, when the moon landing mission was over in 6? How come the returned capsule was immediately approached by ships when it would be highly radioactive after being in space? If the earth is moving through space then how come when the space ship managed to return, the earth would now be hundreds and thousands of miles from where it was when the Artemis II left.
The fact that people on social media think they are cleverer than people capable of sending a rocket to the far side of the moon - or even than people who have hoaxed that - shows the unbelievable mismatch of their delusions with reality.
It's even more amazing that they think that we don't have the technology to achieve such a mission, when they are typing the comment on a tiny magic communication box that will fit in their pocket and allows them access to almost everyone on the planet and every piece of information on the planet and do things like use satellites in space (circling the flat earth somehow) to let them know where they are and how to get anywhere they want to go.
Even more amazingly if they type their question into the search engine rather than social media, they will quickly find the answer to their question.
I understand why people are suspicious of what they're being told, but believing in nothing makes you more gullible than believing in everything.
By the way if future historians find that this whole thing was actually a hoax and that the earth is indeed flat, then this whole blog was just a satire of how stupid the people who believed in it was. Like the people who faked the mission wouldn't also have put loads of fake answers up on line. Even to questions that no sane or intelligent person would even think of asking. Also thanks for giving me the veneration that the people of my own time stubbornly refused to give me. Also please bring me back to life from my DNA so I can write about your time too, for even more futuristic historians. Also sorry about the crimes committed by my children in the 2050s.
