8516/21435
Epitaph for the human race - "At least we owned the libs."
Absolutely insane that the only government in the world that is seemingly able to be honest about what's going on in America is Iran.
My episode of The Great British Bake Off - Stand Up To Cancer is going out this coming Sunday at 7.40pm on Channel 4. We filmed it so long ago that I can't remember much about it now so I'll be watching to see who wins. I hope it is me. Don't bet against me. Also don't bet for me. Because betting is wrong.
Would I have got on GBBO if it hadn't been for my cancer? I am pretty certain the answer to that is no. Having cancer might be the best career move I've ever made. It certainly made me feel less guilty about taking a spot in this iconic marquee. Although I've made a few cakes and pies with Phoebe and have made the occasional fairly inept attempt to make a loaf of bread, I could not classify myself as a baker. And I know that there are millions of people worldwide who would give a body part to be on the show (you have to show the commitment and do it first and then hope they book you). So however well I did with the ingredients (and like I said, don't bet against me. Or for me) at least I could talk a bit about the experience of having had cancer and why it's important for all us that we donate to the fantastic charities who are searching for effective treatments and care.
It still blows my mind a bit that I occasionally get to step into the TV. If it happened more often I might get blase about it. Luckily for me it is a rare occurrence, which means that I remain grounded, unsuccessful and am not a multi-millionaire. I thank my god for that every day.
Getting to be in the Mastermind studio or the Tipping Point set or the Taskmaster house -
A non-contestant told me the other day that they had been shown round the Taskmaster House and were told that the only person that'd been more excited about being there was me. I don't recall being excited or overwhelmed, but maybe I was. It was the day after Boris Johnson had just won a landslide at the election and I hadn't slept and don't remember much about anything that happened, though I understand they filmed some of it -
Arriving a the iconic Bake Off tent felt like I'd entered a magical realm. Like I was meeting the Tellytubbies. It really did not feel real.
I knew next to nothing about the other contestants (aside from Babatunde who I had heard of, but never met) and I suspect that Jojo Siwa and Molly Mae Hague were entirely unaware of me too. Subsequently I have found out what a big deal they both are (though I got some hints at the time- Jojo was just out of the Big Brother house and in the first flush of love with her new partner), but they were very welcoming to the strange old one-balled man who seemed to have wandered on set by accident (I think that when Daisy May Cooper met me on camera in the Taskmaster house, she genuinely had no idea who I was).
Everyone on the team was very welcoming and it was nice to get to see Noel and properly meet Alison Hammond, who is one of the greatest TV personalities that I have ever worked with. I genuinely mean that. She is hilarious and natural and exactly the same on and off screen (maybe when she gets home she resides in a cocoon of misery and silence, but I doubt it).
I enjoyed being cheeky to Hollywood and trying to avoid him giving me a handshake, which he seemed to want to do permanently. I was doing this for the love of cakes and cancerous testicles, not to get his approval.
I then found out that he decides who wins. So if I don't win (don't bet on it. Or bet on it) then you can be sure it's sour grapes on his behalf. And if I do win it will be in spite of him.
It was another show with a fantastic crew too who were a lot of fun too. I met one of Dick Vosburgh's daughters, which might not mean much to you, but which will mean a lot to proper comedy nerds.
Obviously I couldn't write about this at the time (I filmed it on 28th and 29th May last year), which was tricky, but not as tricky as not writing about the more substantial job I did in November. No news on when I can tell you about that.
I still can't write too much about Bake Off, but my favourite bit that won't be on camera came when we were about to film one of the many walk-ins to the tent that we had to do. Molly Mae realised she had some crud (maybe chewing gum) on her boot and international superstar Jojo Siwa just bent down and took it off the footwear with her superstar fingers (she did wash her hands before doing any baking). I like Jojo a lot. She was very down to earth. Though we haven't stayed in touch. And I don't think I'll get her on RHLSTP.
