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If things continue like the first couple of days I think this might be the first holiday where I lose some weight. Phoebe and me went out for a bike ride round the perimeter of the attraction and then we spent a couple of hours in the swimming pool. I've managed to stick to healthy choices and cooked a veg chilli tonight which made my synapses explode with gratitude. Kids may be out there taking drugs to get high, but they should really just eat a lot of vegetables for a couple of weeks. Don't eat those cocaines, just have a carrot. You might need to eat a whole bag to get the full hit. Honestly, you will look really cool and it's a legal and natural high.
No, I am not an old person who doesn't understand anything. And no, you don't have to destroy your body first in order to claw back a bit of health by finally eating food that's good for you. Trust me. You will feel amazing and you will make friends with all the other Veggies (as they will confusingly be called) and the pigs can't touch you for this. Though ironically the actual pigs might befriend you as they love eating veg too. No wonder they're so happy all the time and roll around in their own shit.
We went for an afternoon session of ten pin bowling, but on the way Phoebe's shoe lace wrapped round her pedal. She stopped and so did I and parked up to help her and turned to see her lose her balance and fall with her bike, head first into a low wooden barrier. Conveniently she hit the side of her head, right under the helmet. On the early bike ride she'd forgotten her helmet and I'd said she must never do that again and pictured things just like this happening. Now she had fallen off her bike for the first time and the helmet had done nothing at all.
She was up pretty quickly, once I'd freed her lace, though in a bit of pain and we were obviously pretty worried about the possibility of concussion or worse as she'd hit either her eyebrow or her temple. Another dad checked the map for the first aid centre, but it was quite a long way away and we decided the best thing to do would be to get to the bar by the bowling and get some ice.
She was a bit scared by the fuss, but otherwise OK, but these things can be slow burners. And even when your kids turn out to be fine, it's pretty sickening to watch something like that unfold, in slow motion, right in front of you, but not close enough for you to be able to stop it.
The barman was a first aider and gave us a latex glove full of ice and filled in a form and gave us hospital details, just in case. But Phoebe bowled enthusiastically and thrashed us all in the first frame (bumpers up for her, but still). Catie was bowling almost exclusively gutter balls, but she was the most shaken up by the accident and I couldn't get a strike or a spare to save my life. Phoebe got a strike and jumped up and down. "I think she's OK," said Catie and I joked (to Catie alone) that if it was the end at least Phoebe'd bowled this brilliant game. Surprisingly Catie didn't kill me and almost laughed at this. Sometimes humour is the only way to cope with horror.
In the second match I left my injured daughter reeling, getting a spare followed by two strikes, before losing form again. We ran out of time and didn't finish that one, so it is stricken from the record. And even if you added the score from both matches together, Phoebe still easily won. So I am so bad at ten pin bowling that I can be beaten by a brain damaged 8 year old. But dude, she had the bumpers up and I didn't. So come on. Who is really best here?
Last Edinburgh podcast tomorrow.
A few people have asked for copies of my long sold out second Warming Up collection - The Box Lady and Other Pesticles, so Chris Evans (not that one) has done a tiny extra run of 100 copies.
If you're quick you can buy one here. 
