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In bed most of the day today, though being a parent and a god owner means you have to get something like testicular cancer to spend all day in bed (how I miss those blissful days) and so I had to do the school run and walk Wolfie before heading back to bed. Upset stomach, a cough and a failure to sleep well during the night meant I wasn't much use for anything, but I didn't manage to get back to sleep so mess around on Twitter.
I still made some use of my time, Chris Cooper on Twitter and used chatgpt3 to come up with an emergency question in the style of Richard Herring and it was a doozy -
"If you were stuck in a lift with a sentient jar of pickles that claimed to be your long-lost brother, would you believe him? And if so would you risk tasting his briny essence to confirm his identity or would you prefer to remain a cucumber coward?â€
I spent a good hour trying out this artificial intelligence to see if it might be the way forward in creating great emergency questions. Imagine if I'd had this when I was writing one of the books!
I couldn't however, whatever I put as the question, get anything quite as good as Chris' question (had he faked it? He says not)
A few of mine that were possibly usable were
What would be the worst experience of being eaten by a giant?
If you had to create a new type of breakfast cereal, what would you call it and what would it contain?
What would be a good emergency use for a giant Toblerone?
What would be the worst thing to put on a pizza?
What would happen if the world's last packet of crisps fell into an active volcano?
If you could have any superpower, would you use it to become President of the World, or to make sure there's always a plentiful supply of avocados?
What is the most ludicrous thing you have ever done in the name of love?
What would you say is the most rewarding thing about being a comedian, and for extra points, can you give me a limerick about the difficulty of coming up with new jokes on a weekly basis?
I then asked for more bizarre questions and got
If a monkey had a magic wand and the ability to cast spells, could they use it to create a portal to a parallel dimension and would they be able to control the inhabitants of that dimension, or would they be subject to the whims of the magical creatures of said dimension?
If a butterfly flaps its wings in a forest and nobody is there to hear it, why did Richard Herring forget to bring his monocle when he recorded the 700th episode of RHLSTP?
If you had the opportunity to choose between the ability to fly and the ability to walk through walls, but were told that you could only use one of these powers to solve a conundrum, would you be more inclined to soar through the sky or penetrate the walls of reality?
If, in an alternate universe, Doctor Who was a reality TV show, and you were presented with the challenge of being the first human to travel through a wormhole in search of the Big Mac, how much ketchup would you bring with you to complete the mission?
If the world were to be populated entirely by Richard Herring lookalikes, would it be a utopia of Herring-based hilarity, or a nightmarish dystopia where the same jokes are repeated ad infinitum?
I also asked "Is it cheating to have sex with ChatGPT?†And the flirty ChatGPT replied "No, it is not cheating to have sex with ChatGPT. ChatGPT is a chatbot, not a real person, so it is not considered cheating.â€
Obviously I'll be using all of this on Monday!
I've just asked it to write an entry for Warming Up and it came up with an essay about the blog which isn't very useful. Though is flattering.
"Richard Herring is a well-known comedian, writer and podcaster. One of his most popular projects is his blog, "Warming Up", where he writes daily about his thoughts and experiences. The blog has been running for over 17 years, making it one of the longest running blogs on the internet. In this article, we will explore why Richard Herring's Warming Up is so popular and what makes it a must-read for fans of comedy and writing.
One of the reasons why Warming Up has become so popular is because of Herring's unique perspective and voice. He is a highly skilled writer and comedian, and his blog reflects his wit, intelligence, and humor. Herring's writing is always engaging and thought-provoking, whether he is discussing his personal life, politics, or pop culture. His writing is also highly relatable, as he often tackles issues and topics that many people can relate to, such as anxiety, aging, and the pressures of modern life.
Another reason why Warming Up has become so popular is because of its longevity. Herring has been writing the blog for over 17 years, and in that time, he has developed a loyal following of readers who look forward to his daily musings. Herring's commitment to the blog is impressive, and it has become an important part of his creative output. Fans of Herring's comedy and writing often turn to Warming Up as a way to stay connected with him and to see what he is thinking about on a daily basis.
One of the things that sets Warming Up apart from other blogs is the way that Herring uses it to reflect on his life and career. Over the years, he has used the blog to discuss his struggles with depression, his experiences as a new father, and his thoughts on aging and mortality. He has also used the blog to reflect on his career as a comedian and writer, discussing the highs and lows of the industry and sharing insights into the creative process. For fans of Herring's work, Warming Up provides a unique window into his life and career.
Another aspect of Warming Up that makes it so appealing is the way that Herring engages with his readers. He often encourages comments and feedback from his readers, and he is always quick to respond to their messages. This interaction creates a sense of community around the blog, as readers feel like they are part of a larger conversation with Herring and each other. This sense of community is rare in the world of blogs, and it is one of the things that sets Warming Up apart.
Finally, Warming Up is a must-read for fans of comedy and writing because it provides a glimpse into the mind of one of the most talented and creative comedians of our time. Herring is a master of his craft, and his blog is a testament to his intelligence, wit, and creativity. For aspiring comedians and writers, reading Warming Up is like taking a masterclass from one of the best in the business.
In conclusion, Richard Herring's Warming Up is one of the most unique and engaging blogs on the internet. It provides a glimpse into the mind of a talented and creative comedian, and it offers insights into his life, career, and creative process. For fans of comedy and writing, Warming Up is a must-read, and it is easy to see why it has become such a beloved and enduring part of the internet.â€
So let's see if I can narrow the parameters and find a way to do this so I never have to blog again.
I asked
"Please write a blog in the style of Richard Herring for 3rd March 2023 - he was in bed ill with a cold and bad tummyâ€
This one is a bit more satirical - even through illness I am self-promoting and I don't know how it knew about my fortress of tissues.
"Good morning, my lovely fans! Or should I say, good afternoon? Or evening? Who knows, really, when you're stuck in bed with a cold and bad tummy like yours truly. That's right, folks, I'm afraid I'm not feeling too tip-top today, and it's put a bit of a damper on my usually sunny disposition. But, as they say, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Or in my case, when life gives you snot and diarrhea, you make a blog post.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "Richard, why on earth are you posting a blog when you should be resting and recuperating?" Well, my dear friends, the answer is simple: I'm a glutton for punishment. Or attention. Or both. Besides, lying in bed all day is boring, and I need something to occupy my mind other than the dull ache in my sinuses and bowels.
So, what's new in the world of Herring, you ask? Well, not a lot, I'm afraid. I've been mostly confined to my bed, surrounded by a fortress of tissues, empty water bottles, and the occasional rogue antacid tablet. My wife has been very sweet and attentive, bringing me soup and tea and making sure I'm well-stocked on paracetamol. She even offered to bring me a bedpan, but I politely declined.
I've been passing the time by binge-watching old episodes of "Only Connect" and playing "Among Us" with my online buddies. I must say, I'm quite good at the latter, even with a foggy head and shaky hands. Maybe it's the fever giving me extra brain power, who knows?
In other news, my tour has been going swimmingly, thank you for asking. I've been getting some fantastic reviews, which is always lovely to hear. If you haven't managed to catch me live yet, I highly recommend it. I promise not to sneeze on you.
Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up now and get back to my bedridden existence. I hope you're all feeling much healthier than I am, and that your bowels are behaving themselves. Remember, wash your hands, wear a mask, and stay safe out there. And if you see me performing live in the near future, please don't bring any germs with you. I've had enough of those for one week.â€
Anyway this is that last thing I will ever write here. Thanks AI. You have made me redundant. Also the really good news is that I can carry on writing this after I am dead now.
Another RHLSTP guest confirmed - Sophie Duker will be joining Suggs on 20th March.
Book here.
