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Monday 27th April 2020


My only mission in life now is to make “shagging” replace “fucking” as the most common expletive, so that people in the future won't think it odd that “shagging” is the most common expletive in Sliding Doors. It's good to have a shagging purpose to my life.
I got the 4 minute edit of the self-playing snooker frame that I recorded for the BBC on Friday. To be honest at that length the whole thing looks like the work of a crazy man, not the brilliant sporting event that it actually is. I am trusting that the BBC are putting this out in a sport programme, not as some kind of comedy. I'd hate to think that they were mocking me. But we can trust the BBC right? I will let you know when it will be broadcast.
A frightening stone clear today with the Ftone Ftafi closing in. As I approached the end of the clear a woman approached and asked me what I was doing as I seemed to be doing something with my phone. Ironically she was also looking at her own phone so I could have asked her what she was up to (and I did), but I got out of it by telling her there was nothing suspicious going on. Which I think probably put her mind at rest. But my heart was beating afterwards. It might just be because I'd been walking for 30 minutes and I am quite unfit though.
It was a definite shot across the bows from the Stone Stasi to let them know that they were suspicious of me and yet clearly they don't have enough evidence to convict me or I wouldn't be writing this blog. Luckily I have covered my tracks and left no real clues about what I am doing.
There is a patch of weird blue ash on the field which I presume is the work of the SS (or FF as they used to be known) who have disintegrated someone they thought was clearing stones. Unless there is an interloper on my field then they got the wrong guy, but it's sobering and reminds me that now, more than ever, every stone clear could be my last. I have achieved so much in the last 18 or so months, but there is still much to do and although my cairns are impressive, they are not yet visible from space (or the other side of the field or in some cases from four feet away) so I must take care.
You can view my close call (and there was another pretty close one halfway through) here 
And also catch up on another exciting frame of snooker where Me1 took on Me28, a Sliding Doors version of himself, who drinks Grolsch and says shagging instead of fucking and never met Me1's wife because of a girl with a doll getting in his way at a train station
Plus a heartbreaking end to what looked like the perfect Football Manger season - where my iPad crashed and created a Sliding Doors moment. I wish I lived in the other universe 

Is this my life now? 
At least I am keeping myself busy. It would be pretty easy to lose your marbles in lockdown

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