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Monday 8th November 2021

6916/19836

Freedom! Freedom!
Admittedly freedom somewhat impaired by my body hurting quite a bit. But still, freedom!
I didn’t feel too bad, all things considered - stairs were a little bit of an issue, but not a forewarning of what is to come in old age, like the day or so after the Marathon of 2004 (I guess I am old now and luckily my legs don’t hurt that much yet on a daily basis). I took the kids to school and then went to the supermarket, so I was more than capable of carrying on with my life. Everyone had quickly forgotten what a hero I was, but I had stopped wearing my medal, which was probably a mistake.
It was great to just be doing normal stuff again with no (immediate) pressure. I wasn’t going to start work on the book just yet. 
In the afternoon I took my running gilet to the tailors to see if they could put a new zip on it. I’d put it through the washing machine and the pull bit of the zip had come of. Or so I thought. As I tried to show the lady the problem she indicated that the zip was there. I thought she was mistaken, but then I successfully did the zip up. Either I am an idiot or she is the zip Jesus, able to cure all zips just by looking at them. It must be the latter one because I tried to do the thing up for ages (and had been successfully wearing it until then). 
I am getting old. But I can’t blame this one on post run tiredness as it was a couple of weeks ago that I thought the zip had gone. 
Glitch in the Matrix maybe. I am still convinced I am a character in a video game. It’s the only thing that really makes sense. 
Inspired by my daughter’s Harry Potter novel (it’s very good by they way, if any publishers are reading - some genuinely surprising twists), my son asked to dictate his own story. It also involved a portal and the use of the musical sting Dun Dun Duuunnn (though rather misplaced in his tale) so was a bit derivative of Phoebe’s, and it was no Men of Phise, but it’s not too bad. Actually it’s pretty similar to the Men of Phise
Here it is
"Once upon a time there were baddies and they went in a magic portal and then they saw their friend baddies and then dun dun dunnn and they went in people’s houses and stole treasure. And then they walked along the street, but one of their friend baddies got run over and that was Unicorn Mcflade.
But so they keeped walking and steal people’s treasure but they didn’t want to get run over so they just jumped over cars. And then they ran into smoke.
And then they found a giant block moving on to them and they died.
But one of their friends didn’t die. It was Unicorn and he keeped stealing people’s treasure. But Unicorn he looked both ways and nothing was coming so he walked on the road. And then he keeped stealing people’s treasure and toys.
But there was a car on the road, he was in the tyre and then he rooolllled. But then the waves come to wash him out.
But there was a lava genii. And the genii said “Are you a baddie?”
“No, I am a lady?”
“But why are you wearing baddie clothes?”
“Because I like wearing baddie clothes.”
“You are a baddie.”
“Yes I am a baddie, how did you know?”
“Because I saw you wearing baddie clothes.”
And then the baddie went to prison and he said “Heeelppp, Hellllp”
But his friends didn’t come back: Mcflade, Buzz Lightyear.”

I like the baddie clothes bit.

I noticed that in her journal, where Phoebe has to choose her most impressive person of the day, she had chosen me (admittedly alongside her mum) for both weekend days. I’ve  made it into the box once or twice over the last month or so, but it’s a rare occurrence (as she loves her mum the best) and I was almost moved to tears to have made the grade. It’s a proper Stockholm syndrome being a parent and this little nod towards my daughter actually acknowledging my existence meant a huge amount to this lovelorn hostage.
I think she’s secretly proud of me, but she hides her love away.

The total money collected for the Herts hospitals reached over £30,000 (plus gift aid) and that money is going towards scalp cooling treatments and hair loss support at the Lister Hospital and Mount Vernon Centre. As someone who basically got the lightest possible chemo, like a child playing at hospitals, it’s good that this money is going to people more deserving than old Johnny One Bollock. So thanks for your amazing support on this.
And remember that the proceeds from the videos from this series of rhlstp will also be going to research into cancer (and the museum of comedy) 


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