"Radio is where you begin and end your career."
So said the esteemed playwright Patrick Marber.
Well, if he was correct in that assertion (and he may well have been, but until he thinks of freeze-drying a laminated copy of "Closer", history will judge me as the greatest writer ), then my career is coming to a close, as I'm hoping to be doing some more radio stuff next year.
Partly because it's a wonderful medium (the pictures are better on the radio!!!), but mainly because if I do a comedy radio show for the BBC then I get invited to the BBC Light Entertainment Radio Christmas Party!
I went there today, as apparently even the vague promise of doing some radio based work was enough to garner an invitation.
In the old days, when I was a struggling writer, this party was one of the highlights of my year. I didn't get out much (in those days this was due to poverty rather than unpopularity) and so an afternoon of drinking unpleasant wine and eating strange canapes at the licence payers' expense was a thing of rare wonder. Plus you were drinking unpleasant wine and eating strange canapes in the company of such people as Nicholas Parsons and the Beverley Sisters.
Even better as it was an afternoon party everyone got really drunk and then the most drunk people would spill over into a nearby pub to become even more drunk. Which gave one a better than evens chance of getting a snog.
Happy Days.
Thirteen years have passed since my first LE party (and it's probably been eight years since I've even been invited to one), and now I can afford my own unpleasant wine and strange canapes. But I was still excited to be going and eating and drinking them in the company of some of our best loved entertainment stars and trying to work out if they were at the beginning or end of their career. Nicholas Parsons was there, some things never change, but the Beverley Sisters hadn't made it this time, which was a shame. Bill Pertwee from off of Dad's Army was there though, having successfully evaded the curse that has struck down so many cast members of that series before their time (especially Godfrey - He was a candle in the wind).
There was a tremendous mixture of people there, lots of friends and ex-colleagues, as well as some of the most bizarre and unsatisfying items of food that I have ever seen. It is right that it should be thus.
It was great to be back and I even got a snog, though unfortunately it was from the ubiquitous radio and TV actor Dave Lamb.
I ended up leaving the pub at around about 9pm, very drunk, alone and in a bit of a mood. Which in itself was very reminiscent of most nights of the early 1990s.
I hope I get to go to this party for many years to come.
I am particularly looking forward to the next time Patrick Marber attends.
God, please, let it be soon.
