HOW NOT TO GROW UP!
Click for more information
  AS IT OCCURS TO ME As It Occurs To Me Podcast Subscribe on iTunes 
Assembly Rooms
Bloomsbury Theatre
Leicester Square Theatre
RSS Feed Twitter Feed Facebook Profile MySpace Profile Collings and Herrin Podcast
LATEST TWEETS

@Wink_and_aSmile doesn't work like that. Have plenty of ideas of my own that I can't get off ground already!  (2 hours ago)

@sarc_uk yeah afraid I think it lost it's way then. But ain't seen it since I was a kid!  (3 hours ago)

@mrchrisaddison yes Quiet Night In - just perfect.  (3 hours ago)

@markolver I doubt it would get through the process if they started from scratch. But it is full of gags, which is all execs can understand.  (3 hours ago)

Fletcher has just bought 2 pints and 6 packet of crisps for a pound. Happy days - almost another sitcom in that idea.  (4 hours ago)
FORTHCOMING EVENTS
GIGS: These are my upcoming gigs.
Click GIGS above for more details or you could have a look on Chortle
JULY
28th Fat Tuesday (Islington)
29th Stoke Newington
30th Scarborough
31st Newcastle (SOLD OUT)
EDINBURGH: Edinburgh Fringe tickets now available to buy. Don't leave it til the last minute!
Collings and Herrin Edinburgh podcast. Only £5. Only 10 shows so book early.
Christ on a Bike tickets also available here.
As It Occurs To Me are here
COLLIN(G)S AND HERRIN(G): Collings and Herring Podcast 120 is up at the usual website or you can subscribe through iTunes.
You can also listen to our 6Music podcast via the 6Music pages or iTunes.
NEW DOWNLOADS/PRESS: 14/07/10 DOWNLOADS AIOTM 2:8 rehearsal script
03/07/10 DOWNLOADS Word Magazine interview
01/07/10 DOWNLOADS AIOTM 2:7 script + Talking Cock Press + Christ on a Bike pics + Hitler Moustache Programme.

T SHIRTS: Steve Brown and Stephen Newman have designed a range of official Collings and Herrin T shirts which you can purchase from here
And there are also some AIOTM ones Click here.

Subscribe to Rich's Newsletter

  

 Subscribe    Unsubscribe

Email Richard at: herring1967@googlemail.com

Material ©2010 Richard Herring

Skin Selector



Warming Up
Wednesday 16th February 2005

Doing
the Hercules show (sudden surge in numbers yesterday to over 70, but back to around 40 tonight) has made me realise the number of people who have secretly been playing various versions of CNPS over the years. A surprising number of people tell me that they played as a child or that their dad or uncle has been round the CNPS clock two or three times. Of course my publicising the game and solidifying the rules have led to a whole new generation of players (many of whom are about to meet the brick wall of the emergence of the new style number-plates and have no realisitic chance of ever finishing the game).

My friend Simon came to the show on Tuesday and has just emailed me these scans of his I-Spy Number Plate book. Now, I'm not totally sure, but I don't think this was the book from which I learnt of the game. It's an outside possibility
as like most kids of my generation I did have a lot of I Spy books and I was interested in number plates, but I'm pretty sure my version was in a proper paperback and went into a bit more detail about the game. Also in this version it's something you merely play til the end of a journey, not a life-time's obsession. Still it's an interesting document to have. And that picture of the child standing on the car seems eerily familiar, so who knows? Actually it's quite chilling isn't it? The way it is inappropriately standing on the car and looking so haunted whilst the other 70s figures are having fun. Like some kind of ghostly figure from a previous age who was maybe run down by the SPY 999 car and now haunts it and messes around with the radio reception at every given opportunity. The other people in the photo can't see this spectral child. Only we can. And it is too late to warn the happy adults that their next car journey will end in their own deaths as a childish voice repeats, "Why did you make me go hurt? Why?"

I do love the slight desperation of some of their number plate game ideas. To be fair it must have been hard to come up with a whole (even tiny) book's worth. Number 3 there is a bit pathetic. Will you be surprised what exciting messages you can make? Or will you in fact be slightly bored after about thirty seconds of this nonsense?

Number 4 is especially desperate. The writer obviously found out that Jimmy Tarbuck has the number plate COM 1 C and thought there might be some mileage in it. "COM 1 C for instance belongs to comedian Jimmy Tarbuck," writes the author. I would have more respect for this game if the inventor of it had managed to come up with a few examples of other famous people with unusual number plates. But the fact is that Jimmy Tarbuck, at time of publication, was the only one. What are the chances of a child happening to pass Jimmy Tarbuck on a long car journey? Very small. Let's imagine there were other 70s celebrities with personalised plates that happened to coincide with their jobs and give you a clue to their identity. Even if there had been 100 of them you would only get to see one every ten years or so (at a guess).

I would have even more respect for the I-Spy series though if they had stuck to their guns and made children play this impossible game of hunt the Jimmy Tarbuck's car in the haystack made of cars instead of hay. But no, they lost their bottle and essentially admitted it was a rubbish game by adding the additional sentence, "Or invent possible owners; does CAT 21 belong to a vet?" That is just shit. And no, it doesn't. I don't know how many vets went for personalised number plates in the 70s, but I am guessing any that did, a) probably didn't draw attention to their job when doing so and b) if they did would not have wanted to show preference for one animal when they work with so many different breeds. I would have said, "Does CAT 21 belong to Cat Stevens? And he's still driving the car he had before he changed his name and can't afford to change it?" Or "Does CAT 21 belong to a cat that has amazingly developed the ability to drive and the money to both afford a car and a personalised number plate? He was probably left the money in a will by an eccentric old woman. I bet he was gutted when he found there were twenty other cats already driving on the roads."

If a vet really wanted to draw attention to his job I think he would have gone for the number plate "VET 21". Although this line might have also been bought up by Viet Nam Veterans, so you'd have to look closely into the driver's eyes to work out which it was.

"See how many famous people you can "collect" or "invent" on one journey," advises the book. I am guessing you will "collect" none and probably "invent" maybe one, before getting bored, growing up and realising that you were being tricked by adults into being quiet and distracted on a car journey.

Get your name in the Christ on a Bike programme and raise money for SCOPE by clicking here


[ Email this edition of Warming Up to a friend ]

Bookmark and Share


<< Thu 17th FebTue 15th Feb >>

Archive

  •  Introduction
  •  RSS Feed
  •  iPhone Version
  •  iPhone RSS


  •  Mon 28th Feb
  •  Sun 27th Feb
  •  Sat 26th Feb
  •  Fri 25th Feb
  •  Thu 24th Feb
  •  Wed 23rd Feb
  •  Tue 22nd Feb
  •  Mon 21st Feb
  •  Sun 20th Feb
  •  Sat 19th Feb
  •  Fri 18th Feb
  •  Thu 17th Feb
  •  Wed 16th Feb
  •  Tue 15th Feb
  •  Mon 14th Feb
  •  Sun 13th Feb
  •  Sat 12th Feb
  •  Fri 11th Feb
  •  Thu 10th Feb
  •  Wed 9th Feb
  •  Tue 8th Feb
  •  Mon 7th Feb
  •  Sun 6th Feb
  •  Sat 5th Feb
  •  Fri 4th Feb
  •  Thu 3rd Feb
  •  Wed 2nd Feb
  •  Tue 1st Feb
  •  Mon 31st Jan
  •  Sun 30th Jan
  •  Sat 29th Jan

  •