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Sunday 4th May 2014

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I was home by lunchtime and though I really don't have time for this the various Mes were finally roused from their dormancy by the World Snooker Championship, united in fury that once again the inferior two player version takes precedence over the correct self-playing kind. And so in an attempt to sabotage the TV ratings they finally reconvened at the snooker board (after almost three months away) for frame 44. What happened next was incredible. It felt weirdly relaxing to be back at the green baize and allowing these old friends out of their box. Things are so hectic that I really shouldn't be wasting any of my time doing this, but I think posterity will see this as my most important work, so it's vital that I don't let it slide. I hope we can get back to weekly fixtures, but it's so hard managing all the Mes diaries and getting them together in one place at the same time. If you haven't listened to this groundbreaking podcast before then it is ILLEGAL to start with frame 44. You must start at  the beginning and listen to IT ALL. Or face arrest and execution when Me2 is the president of the Universe.

I don't know how many calories self-playing snooker burns up (presumably double the amount that normal snooker expends) but a medium sized hotel breakfast, a couple of snacks and some sushi had somehow almost used up my entire calorific allowance for the day. So I went to the gym and then on an enjoyable evening walk with my wife and had earned enough points to have a meal out.

In the park we had looked over a fence into a nature reserve. On the closed gates were lots of warnings not to step over the fence and statements that only authorised persons could enter, due to the delicate nature of the environment and it being a place where frog spawning took place. There was a father and son by the pond, but maybe they had been given authorisation. It wasn't my place to question them. They then started chucking stones into the pond. I thought they probably weren't authorised and shouldn't be doing that, but I was too polite/fearful to say anything to them. Hopefully the frogs had already spawned. I wonder what level of crime they would have had to commit for me to intervene.

After dinner we then went to see Bad Neighbours, which was all right. Lovely to spend some time with my wife and by the time I got home the drive home from Machynlleth seemed like it had happened days ago. I'd packed an awful lot in to this day. None of it was the increasingly pressing work that I am supposed to be doing, but that's not a bad thing.

I can't wait until September when everything will be done and dusted. It's only three months. If I close my eyes for long enough I will be there.



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My new stand up show, Lord of the Dance Settee will be on at the George Sq Theatre at 10.45pm every night of the Edinburgh Fringe Buy tickets here.
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