It's always fun to make friends on holiday. That's never not fun.
I have made a friend on holiday already, although he's about 35 years younger than me, which makes the friendship a bit weird and in a post-Operation Yewtree world a bit wrong. Yesterday a young English lad came to say hello and said that he thought he maybe recognised me from somewhere and was I a comedian? I told him that I was but thought it was unlikely that he had seen me as he was a little bit too young for my stuff, but he wondered if I'd been on Michael Mcintyre's Roadshow. I said I hadn't and that he might have seen me on Have I Got News For You? or Never Mind The Buzzocks. He looked non-plussed. "I've been on the Russell Howard show too," I said and he said he liked him and that might have been where he'd seen me. He said his dad had been in Edinburgh and thought he'd seen me on a poster or something. I wondered if it was actually his dad who was trying to be friends with me, but was using his confused son as some kind of odd go-between. The boy was perfectly polite and very sweet and I didn't mind him saying hello. It also meant that I could raise my eyebrows to my wife and complain about how awful it was being this famous that I couldn't even relax on holiday without attracting the attention of fans. That would be more impressive if the fan was over 11 and also if she hadn't been with me on every holiday I've had since 2008 and knew how little my life was blighted by this kind of stuff, even when I was in England. But I still did it anyway.
Today we were having a relaxing day by the pool, enjoying the sun and reading some more about Tudors and Russell Brand. The young man came up again and asked us what we were up to this afternoon and then explained that his family were going on a boat trip and would we like to come along? We had really settled in for the day and I didn't fancy exerting myself and also I wondered if it would be a bit odd to turn up at the boat and explain that I was a friend of the family's son. "Hi, I'm Richard. I got talking to your son around the pool and now we're friends. Don't worry I am not weird or anything." Yet the youngster was so charming and friendly I felt a bit mean staying that I just wanted to stay at the hotel today. He gave us some advice on good places to go and a fun cave we could visit. I know I am about 9 years old on the inside and I have always argued that a child can spot another child just like a dog knows when its met another dog, however they might differ physically.
And what kind of a tragic world are we living in when a 46 year old man and an 11 year old boy can't be friends without it attracting suspicion. I probably have more in common with him than anyone staying at the hotel. And it was a very kind gesture to ask us along. And anyone who proves to my wife how famous I am can't be bad. I didn't pay him to come up and pretend recognise me though. That would be really strange. And that's not the way I roll and anyone who says it is and they have seen me giving money to loads of 10 year old boys is lying.