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Friday 2nd October 2009
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Friday 2nd October 2009

Up to the LPAC in Lincoln to perform another live Collings and Herrin podcast. Jet lag still not kicking in. Maybe the trick is to just make sure you're so ridiculously busy that you don't have time to think about it.
We did some research into Lincoln in the car on the way up (well Andrew did the actual internet browsing as I was at the wheel), finding out that the people of Lincoln willingly refer themselves as Yellowbellies, which seems a bit self-derogatory. Also Andrew's friend had told him that a lawyer had told him that Lincolnshire is the paedophile and incest capital of the UK. So we were armed with a lot of ammunition to mock out yellow bellied, perverted audience.
And it all went OK, even if the crowd was a bit quieter than we've been used to (probably because they were abusing their own children in the darkness). There was a good (mainly visual) bit about Action Man's hands (you can probably imagine what I am up to even though you can't see it) and a question and answer section in which we will probably save up for some future extra on a commercial release of some kind. You can hear the 66 minutes of improvised and offensive nonsense here or on iTunes.
After the gig we met some of the audience, including a couple wearing "I am Virgilio Anderson" T shirts who had apparently met in one of our Edinburgh audiences when they had also both been wearing the T shirts. Virgilio Anderson has brought them together which is kind of beautiful. The girl was a bit out of the league of the guy I thought, in normal circumstances, but the Virgilio Anderson T shirt had raised his game a notch. There can be no better advert. Our T shirts help nerdy men to pull women who are slightly more attractive than they would have been able to pull otherwise. On the flip side our T shirts help attractive women pull less attractive men than they would have done, but luckily the T shirts blind them to this fact, so they are still blissfully happy. Deluded but happy.
So if you want to have the opportunity to score with some like-minded fucking idiot who is either slightly more or slightly less attractive than you deserve then you can buy one of these. You'll notice that you can no longer buy the "Andrew Collings is a fucking idiot" T shirt that I am sporting in the podcast picture, because Andrew Collings is a fucking idiot and has got all prissy about the idea of his name (well not actually even his name) being on a T shirt with swearing on it. So if you bought one of those before his ridiculous change of heart then you have a collector's item, but are less likely to bump into someone with the same T shirt and form a relationship.
After the show we sat in the bar at the Holiday Inn Express and I showed Andrew what it is really like on tour. Though at least we had each other. But we had separate rooms so there was no opportunity for a Morecambe and Wise style end to the evening. Not this time. But one day I will get him.
All I have to do is buy an "Ask Me About the Mitford Sisters" T shirt and there will be nothing he can do about it.

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