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As I gave my daughter her milk this morning I absent-mindedly said "Milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner chocolate's made". The kids didn't laugh so they'd either heard it before or didn't understand it. Or possibly they didn't want to be reminded of lactation, urination and defecation at breakfast.
It can't be that. They're my kids. They want to be reminded of those things constantly.
I thought about this beautiful piece of poetry, surely one of the most quoted and long-lasting rhymes ever created and realised I had no idea who was responsible for this work. People may argue over the identity of Shakespeare, but at least his name or pen name is credited. No one has printed up a folio of Milk Milk Lemonade and so its reputation has spread by word of mouth alone. Yet every school child in the country knows it, in full. I can even remember the first time I heard it. So impactful are those words.
How long has it even existed? Presumably not before the invention of lemonade (which surprisingly came into being in the 1660s- Pepys drank it, which means it's possible he also heard the rhyme). Chocolate was in Europe from 1585, so everything was in place by the mid-1600s. Yet no one remembers the person who invented the ditty. Someone made it up, told it to a mate and it spread from there.
If I'd made that up I'd have been furious about the lack of credit. Presumably at some point someone quoted it back to them and they said, "Oh I made that up" and they were disbelieved, with whatever that day's version of Jimmy Hill might have been (again the inventor of that remains unknown).
If I'd come up with Milk Milk Lemonade I'd have insisted on people reciting my name at the end, but would people have done it. They'd have got their laugh and wondrous awe and pretended that the joke was theirs.
Also I'd have been very annoyed if I'd come up with the original if I heard someone quoting the alternate line "Round the corner, fudge is made." If your faeces resembles fudge then you should see a doctor. It's totally the wrong consistency and colour. You might think it's not very like chocolate either, but that is the confection that it most resembles in colour and there are multiple consistencies for chocolate, just like faeces.
How dare someone try to improve on perfection and fail so spectacularly?
But really I mourn the fact the creator of the work goes uncredited. Maybe it's enough that the work survives. After all, does it matter who Shakespeare actually was, now that he no longer exists? Even if he had a different name, the work can be named Shakespearian. He isn't around to take the plaudits. When Milk, Milk, Lemonade (as we might call them) died, they could at least think to themselves, I achieved something. Something of me lives on.
Though I wonder if they regretted having breasts producing milk, which of course they actually do, rather than suggesting some creamy confection in its place.
I don't want to be like the fudge guy, but maybe it should be
Ice cream, Ice cream, lemonade, round the corner chocolate's made.
Or at least Milk shake milk shake...
Please make sure you mention my name if you quote my versions.
