Bookmark and Share

Monday 9th December 2019


At lunch yesterday Phoebe had been playing with her talking Woody from Toy Story doll. You press his star and he says lots of phrases. “Daddy,” said Phoebe, “What is “da fuck?”
“What?” I said.
“Da fuck.” she replied. “Woody said, “Da Fuck””
I mean, it was possible. There’s that bit in the film where he decides to break the rules and come alive to teach Sid a lesson and maybe he was doing that now.
To be fair I have a problem with that part as it implies the toys have choice over whether they freeze or not, so why does Buzz, who doesn’t think he is a toy, play along with that? And what if a toy doesn’t notice a human hiding and doesn’t freeze? It has to be automatic so why have they ruined da fucking film by making it a choice? And why didn’t the toys break the rules to save all the other toys who got smashed to bits by Sid, if they could do it?
Anyway, it’s not the time.
I had to keep pressing the sheriff’s badge (not a euphemism) to find out what Woody was actually saying, whilst my daughter kept saying “da fuck” in front of the other diners, who were already having a bad enough time, eating disappointing food in a pub that had used to do good food.
It was only when we were back at the car that I got Woody to say the phrase, “Yeah… tough luck.”
It was tough luck.

I think my daughter knew full well what she was doing. We are constantly saying fuck in the house.

Anyway, lucky I forgot about that for yesterday’s blog as today was a dull one. I had gallantly allowed my wife to go to the spare room upstairs and taken charge of Ernie, who had one of this worst nights since this illness began and I got very little sleep. And so today was a bit out the window, even though I had planned to get work done.
I put loads of RHLSTP and Herring rarities up on eBay to raise some more funds for the podcasts. They include the Star Wars notebook with guests and autographs including Richard E Grant, 1/100 of the limited edition gold Trumps and one of the last available RHLSTP Rubik’s cubes. Lots of T shirts and DVDs and other stuff too. Put in a bid NOW. You’ll probably lose but help to boost funds. (you might not lose)
And episode 1 of my House of Games Champion of Champions week went out tonight in which (SPOILERS) I blew a big lead because I so wanted a crack at the game. You have to act fast in Answer Smash (they put a pause in the edit for you at home idiots) so you have to buzz straight in and hope you get it. I nearly got it, but lost a point for everyone that I nearly got. I had so much fun on the show that I didn’t mind. My only regret was locking in my answer to the Galapagos question too quickly. I realised straight away that it had to be equatorial and that my mother-in-law had just been there.
Still four more to go. It’s an exciting contest. I can promise you that.

Bookmark and Share

Preorder my new book/ebook/audiobook "The Problem With Men" (also available at Waterstones etc).
Help us make more podcasts by becoming a badger You get loads of extras if you do.
Use my code to change your energy provider to Bulb using this link and get a £50 credit on your account, probably cheaper bills, no contract (they will buy you out of yours too), great customer service, plus they use renewable energy. I get £50 too, which gets put in the pot to make even more podcasts!