Warming Up

A second 30 minute session on the rowing machine means it’s cost me just £425 a go or £850 an hour. I did this joke on Twitter and someone on Twitter complained that this was two weeks wages to most people and when I asked him if he had a car he said he’d saved up for that. Which is how most things work. In fact I worked out that the cost of the machine is just about 10 pints a week for all the weeks I haven’t been drinking (would you castigate someone as profligate if you found out they were drinking a pint and a bit of beer every day?) and that I had purchased the machine with the savings. Also I felt it was worth it having had cancer and needing to be fit. He went quiet after that. I hope he doesn’t find out about how much money Boris Johnson has been spending on his flat. Or  take a look at the prices in jewellery shop windows.

Nice to have to explain yourself - I am aware of how lucky I am to be able to afford a few luxuries and I get what he was saying, but still. Hopefully the rowing machine will prove to be an economical purchase within a year or two.

Otherwise I was prepping for RHLSTP. I had a bath after the row and somehow ended up with water stuck in my ear, which happened to Alan Partridge on his show the other week. I am haunted by my own creation and have become him. But luckily I never listen to the guests so it wouldn’t affect my ability to do my job.

Catie was feeling better and this was the first of the new run where (ear water aside) I wasn’t very poorly. There was a good size audience and the interviews fizzled along very nicely. Both had a mixture of silliness and seriousness and there was a terrific atmosphere. Both John Robins and David Baddiel managed to speak eloquently about causes close to their heart, but also got big laughs. I tried to pitch some new Three Lions lyrics to use if England win the Euros and we debated how many years of hurt it had been now, as well as how many years of years of hurt we’d had. We also lightly explored some interesting territory about testicles, the loss of and whether that affected masculinity. For people obsessed with the idea that gender is all down to what’s between your legs, I have to say, that losing a third of my junk has not had any affect on how I feel or identify. If the whole thing came off in an accident (maybe due to a sword wielding three year old) I am sure I would still think of myself as a man. I am not really trying to equate my experience to anyone else - just saying that the balls do not maketh the man and our notions of who we are come from our whole (even if, as in my case, I am no longer quite whole).

David had felt rusty and maybe a bit nervous before the show, but it was great to see how quickly he relaxed and enjoyed himself. As with all the other lockdown easing, as much as we have carried on and got things done in the last year, it’s only through experiencing something of the old days again that I realise just how much we’ve been missing. The lockdown RHLSTPs have been good, but the atmosphere at these live ones is astonishing and the electricity palpable and thrilling. Almost like performance really needs the connection and response of the audience to really hit its heights.

And more than one person pointed out the similarity to the History Today sketches. That’s us that is.

Approaching 100 people had donated to the just giving page by the end of the day and with 5 months to go we’ve already raised £1500 for the hospitals. Be terrific to get that into five figures. If everyone who reads Warming Up gives a tenner then we might get closer to £50,000. Here’s the link.

And exciting news - the guests for the final Clapham Grand RHLSTP on 5th July will be Robin Askwith AND the Off Menu boys, Ed Gamble and James Acaster. It's bound to sell out fast (if social distancing is relaxed more tickets might be made available) so BOOK NOW.