BBC Scotland are treating us nicely here in Glasgow. They have put us up in the Premier Inn. Which must surely be the best hotel in town. It's called the Premier one and that means first, so there's literally no expense spared. Or so I thought, because today I noticed that there was another Premier Inn across town a bit. And it's massive, you can see it for miles. It's obviously better. How can one town have two Premier Inns. It's just not possible. One of them has to be premier than the other one. I don't know what to think. You have to choose Glasgow. You can't have two.
I slept better last night and was much more chipper. The breakfast at the hotel is good (but I can't help wondering how much better the one at the other Premier Inn is). You get greeted by a member of staff, who asks if you've breakfasted here before and then shows you to your table. It's a buffet arrangement and not hard to understand, but it's nice that they make sure you're happy with what's going on.
Just as I was leaving today a couple arrived and the woman at the welcome lecturn said "Have you had breakfast before?"
After a minute pause of computation the man replied, "Not here." As if he thought there was a possibility that the greeter had thought it was possible for a person to get well into his thirties without having experienced eating a meal first thing in the morning. It's possible that he had been in a coma for his whole life and had been fed throughout the day on a drip with no meal times. Or just that no one had ever told him that it was possible to eat anything first thing and he'd spent every day of his life with his tummy rumbling wishing the hours away so he could have lunch. I think in that case at some point within the first 25 years he might have come up with the idea of finding something to eat in the morning, but perhaps he was brought up by strict parents. Feckless children can be conditioned to believe anything. Some of them are told by their parents that there's a big man in the sky who is watching everything they do. To any adult this is clearly a blatant subterfuge to make the kids behave themselves when their parents aren't around - He's everywhere and will burn you in a big pit if you are naughty? Most of us realise that that's plainly ridiculous at about the age of 8. Why would someone capable of creating the Universe waste his time by spying on children and making notes of the tiny tresspasses they make. If anything Operation Yewtree should investigate this guy for the unnatural interest he is taking in everything our kids are doing. If you hear on the news that a 13 billion year old man (or 6000 year old man in you believe the Bible is literal) then I think you'll be able to guess who it is.
But my point is that maybe the staff member was concerned that this guy's parents had indoctrinated him to believe that eating food before midday would have terrible consequences on him or his soul, or maybe just told him that it would make his knob drop off. So she just wanted to check that he was familiar with the concept and was then ready to explain the whole system in more detail if he looked confused.
Or she might just have assumed that he'd understand she was asking him if he'd had breakfast in this particular hotel and a simple yes or no would have sufficed.
Maybe he was worried that she had never hosted breakfast before and was unclear of exactly what she was asking and was trying to help her out. I guess we'll never know.
Here's
the Metro column about Dave Manager. If you are Dave Manager then do get in touch! I'll take you out for some fried chicken as a thank you.
And RHLSTP spent most of the day at top of both the iTunes podcast charts and also as the most popular single episode which was a new accolade. I can't imagine what has propelled it back to the top of the hit parade. Though "I Love London" does have a lot of fans.
Oh and hello to the guy who I walked past as he was listening to the Warming Up podcast today. If you see me whilst you're listening me saying this then that will be super weird.
