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Catie is away for the weekend with "friends" (I assume she's having an affair and who could blame her? This woman has suffered enough and must be allowed some happiness) so it was just me and the kids for most of the day. I did my best to keep them entertained whilst exerting minimum effort, but it still involved football and basketball. To be fair I only had kids because since I was a kid I've wanted a younger relative to play games with/boss around - I never got a little brother, but it only took me forty short years to create a playmate or two and then another seven or so years til they were old enough to be fitting competition and then one more year before one of them was better than me. Phoebe beat me at basketball, with only the slight (and fair) advantage that I couldn't "shoot" from just under the hoop (which is low enough for me to be able to place the ball in). 25-14 was the final score. I was the best basketball player of my generation (I just didn't make a big deal about it) but now it's time to move on.
We also made cup cakes, which I was the second best at decorating, though not sure many people would have been able to confidently say which were mine and which were Ernie's.
Ernie adores his big sister, but she has the kind of disdain for him that she's been showing me since she was about 11 months old. Today he told her she was his hero and she just carried on being sarcastic and mean to him. It's all very normal and human and it's a tale as old as time. It's a shame we all have to go through the same stuff and repeat the same mistakes and tropes, but I never listened to the wisdom of my parents and so my kids aren't going to listen to me and so the grand repetitive soap opera/sitcom continues. At least we only experience it twice (as kids and then adults). It's God I feel sorry for. Sitting back and watching everyone making the exact same mistakes and His only response is to do nothing or send a fucking big flood. You'd hope the flood would have taught the necessary lesson, but nope. The world got repopulated and the pricks carried on being exactly the same.
The thing is you can just about cope with it when it's your own kids, but poor old God has to go through this with everyone else's. Mind you His own kid got a rough deal from Him, so I think God might just be a bit of a dick. Which would explain why the world He created is so messed up. Could a perfect being even create a imperfect world? Of course not. The ability to create life is not limited to the perfect though. Any bozo with access to some spunk and an egg can do it. Though not any spunk with any egg, so keep out the fridge, wankers.
