I wasn't asked to do Latitude this year, so today was my only festival gig of the season and this evening I headed off to the Cornbury festival. It was sunny in Harpenden and so I didn't think to take any wet weather gear, though luckily when I'd been back at the Shepherd's Bush house yesterday I'd spotted my walking boots and thought it might be an idea to bring them just in case.
They were needed, because I had failed to consider that different parts of the country have different weather and also that weather moves and I hit a serious rainstorm on the way there. I had visions of myself going on stage in a sopping wet shirt and then having to drive home shivering and cold. But on the plus side my dirty car was getting a good clean.
The rain had stopped by the time I got to the sight, so my worries about getting drenched came to nothing, though ironically my newly rain-washed car got splattered with mud as I tried to park it in the field adjacent to the site. Ah well.
The boots proved very useful and saved me from wrecking my expensive Jeffrey West shoes with their slippy flat soles. The evening sun was warm though and I had a walk around the smallish site and enjoyed a sausage and some ice cream, before heading to the comedy tent to do my gig.
The festival was awash, not just with rain, but with the news that David Cameron and his family were here. You'd think a field full of lefties with a ready supply of mud might be the last place he'd risk coming to, but he isn't a man who seems to think through anything he does or says, so maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. I didn't see him myself, though I did manage to catch a glimpse of Hugh Laurie who was playing one of the stages - not as one of the comics suggested, reenacting his favourite episode of House, but playing a piano and singing. One posh rich man is very much interchangeable with another, so I chucked some mud at Hugh instead. I didn't really.
As is often the case with festival gigs, doing comedy was a bit of a challenge as I had strong and nearby competition from bands and there was the added fun of youngish kids being in the audience - I said "No offence" to them when I suggested that all kids were "cock-holes". But on the plus side there were seats for the audience and they were attentive and into the act, so I had fun for 20 minutes. Then my set was over and I didn't really fancy hanging around in a wet field with no warm clothes and so just headed back to my car and left.
Once upon a time a festival gig might have been an excuse for a weekend off and a chance to have some fun, but tonight I was just doing a job. I enjoyed it, but once it was done I was keen to get home.
I am either old or professional or have no joy in my heart. Or most likely all three.
But I bought one of those long pink marshmallows that look like they might have been a long and satisfying shit for George from Rainbow for the journey home. So no one can say that I am not living life to the full.
