5270/18190
Where the fuck did April go? Who knows? Well it’s gone. Get over it. One less April you’ve got to live through. That’s April 2017 ticked off. Can’t wait to tick off all the other months and get this thing over with!
If life carries on being this non-stop then we might as well fast-forward to the end. It honestly feels like someone took a big eraser and rubbed out the last 30 days. But 17 more tour gigs down and now only 13 to go. But with the mildly terrifying prospect of an Edinburgh show to write and the ball-ache part of RHLSTP - booking the guests…. I am enjoying myself. It’s just terrifying the way that time is being obliterated.
I tried to enjoy my down time before the gig, but my brain was only in the mood for the funniest film ever written about child rape - Adam Sandler’s “That’s My Boy†(it’s not very funny, but it’s the funniest film about child rape). Weirdly Susan Sarandon plays the older version of the teacher who seduces the 15 year old Adam Sandler, a very similar role to one she plays in 30 Rock. Not sure if one thing is parodying the other or if she’s just the go-to teacher-seductress.
I also spent the car journey losing myself in Civilisation II, in which I am carrying on with a completed game and trying to make the world perfect. I don’t think you need to be a psychologist to understand why that’s a relaxing thing to do. I can control the environment and everything that’s going on and I’ve managed to get a world where there are no wars and the government just works to make the people as happy as possible. I wish I could go and live in there with my family. It’s very satisfying playing the game with peaceful intent, even though I don’t really think that was ever the point of it. It’s the same impetus that makes me wish that everyone in the Walking Dead would just get on and rebuild a perfect society where no one died.
I got home from the Swindon Arts Centre and my daughter had woken up, maybe from me making noise as I got into the house or maybe from a bad dream. I went in to comfort her and she pointed at the bed in her room. She’s back in the cot for now as she was a bit unsettled moving over. Did she want to sleep in the bed tonight? No. She wanted me to sleep there. It is a nice feeling to be wanted as a daddy. And a rare one as my fiercely independent daughter thinks she can do everything for herself. But when she’s dreaming of monsters (my best guess, as she’s really into Monsters Inc right now, but finds it a bit scary in places) she wants to know that I am nearby. This is why this month has felt non-stop, but even knowing that I had only six hours before she’d be waking me up I couldn’t be happier. She won't always need me. But I will always need her. My heart is a moon forever trapped in her orbit now.
