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My daughter loves her sand and water table a lot. When she comes down at 6.30 in the morning she points at it and says “Sandâ€, but I have to explain that it’s too early and too cold to go outside just yet. But a little later this thing becomes the most excellent child minder known to man. She happily piled wet sand from one place to another for 45 minutes this morning, giving me a chance to make an attempt to tidy up our sparse back yard a little bit.
We had artificial grass put in a few months ago, which we thought was more child friendly than decking and surely less work than actual grass. But I am not sure either thing is true. It certainly didn’t seem less work as I tried to sweep up all the bits of dried leaf and twig and seeds that were lodged in it, or when I attempted to remove the dried squirrel shit from the plastic blades. And I have to tell you, the song lied. It does not have a hazelnut in every bite. I don’t know what is in it, but it tastes, if anything of squirrel intestines. And squirrels that haven’t ever been near a hazelnut…. er, I expect. Look sometimes the only way to get it off is with your tongue, all right? That doesn’t make me strange.
But at least the sand table meant that I could concentrate on getting the shit out (and I think there might have been some fox shit there too, and certainly some bird shit) without worrying too much. My daughter got sand everywhere too, but compared to dried squirrel shit that is not really a problem. I hope the Early Learning Centre use this recommendation in their advertising.
I felt pleased with what I’d done though. There were less leaves, less twigs and less shit and my daughter had had a fine old time, until she leaned on the table and it flipped up a bit and smacked her in the mouth. Hey, you can’t guarantee any child minder wouldn’t do that.
But this is what all the work was for, for these wonderful family moments. I have enjoyed trying to make a dent in the huge amount of parenting that I owe my wife and Phoebe is getting to be more fun (and stubborn and wilful of course) every day. We can nearly have a conversation and we can play actual games. It only becomes more fun, right? No complications?
The Maidstone audience seemed cautious for the first few minutes, but quickly became one of the loveliest and most giving audiences of the tour so far. Two women in the third row seemed to be having a terrible time in the second half and I am not sure why they came back in after the interval. I almost gave them permission to go. But everyone else seemed into it. Not the sad-eyed, sullen-faced ladies who may have wandered in by mistake. Were they even there in the first half? However well things are going the comedian’s eye is always drawn to those who are not enjoying it.
An incredibly exciting frame 81 of Me1 vs Me2 snooker went up today.
Listen here or on iTunes.
