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A rare glimpse into what life could have been had we not made the reckless decision to breed. The kids were at their grandparents overnight and not back til 3.30pm. What a delight it was, though stupidly I missed the kids. But not all the time.
I woke up early anyway, because of course I did and I walked the dog before my wife had got out of bed. We were going out for breakfast because it was time to treat ourselves, though after so many months of mainly cooking for ourselves and a couple of months of eating almost exclusively healthy food I found eating out a bit much. The food was too salty and the orange juice I ordered seemed unbearably sweet. The coffee was excellent, but I left the restaurant feeling a bit like I’d been mildly poisoned. It was still cool to have an interrupted chat with my wife and have no one shouting about poo throughout the conversation. I did talk exclusively about poo, but in a quiet voice.
We then went home and read books in front of a roaring fire (I know it’s nearly June, but it was cold). I watched a bit of football. Why did I have kids?
They came back eventually like the boomerangs they are and I was happy to see them. They’re the best. Especially after they have been away for a bit.
They didn’t stay up to watch Eurovision, though we saw a little bit of it. Next year my daughter will be about the same age as I was when Abba won and Agneta had a profound effect on my psyche. Maybe it finished earlier in those days or maybe I was just cooler than my kids (I am not) because there’s no way they would have stayed up for this. We didn’t even stay up. We happened to start watching for the UK’s underwhelming entry and saw Iceland’s fabulous one then Germany’s piece of shit with a dancing hand in it. I could only wonder about how the rest of the dancing hand’s life is going to pan out. Will she be up front, “Yeah, that was me. I was the hand.” Or will she try to keep it to herself only to be outed. “This year’s Oscar was going to go to her, until we found out that she was the dancing hand.”
“Before we get married there’s something I have to tell you, it’s the most shameful episode in German history…… no I can’t tell you.”
I enjoyed dipping in more than I thought I would and maybe next year I will introduce my eldest to this fiasco. The UK got null point as it turned out. But for once I think that was deserved. Even compared to the dancing hand song that kept inadvertently or advertently flicking the vs and giving us the finger or just looking like a weird dancing genital of some kind.
