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Off to Pinewood today to film Taskmaster Champion of Champions. It’s a lovely treat to get to do all this one last time and it’s hard to beat this as a TV show these days. If this was the last time I ever appeared on the idiots’ lantern then I’d be happy with that.
We filmed the tasks back in March (three weeks after my operation for me) and I felt much more relaxed about it all than I did the first time. I’d been tense and worried about embarrassing myself in the original series, but I threw myself into it this time - even the ones that I couldn’t do and I’d had fun.
And as nice as it would be to be a Taskmaster Champion of Champions (as well as a House of Games Champion of Champions) I was realistic both about my chances against strong opposition and the fact that with just one show it wasn’t a proper competition anyway. It was (and luckily really felt like) a celebration of the show and our success on it and it didn’t matter who actually took away the trophy. Which sounds like the words of someone who didn’t win it, but I would have said that if I won too. Maybe I just did. Yeah, think on. I might have won in. You never know.
There was a possibility that the winners of each series would be the most boring/efficient/unfunny contestants (certainly that seems to be the general feeling about series 10) and you wouldn’t get the idiocy and incompetence of a regular episode. But that turned out to be incorrect. The line up was Ed Gamble (my only mission was to prevent him winning), Kerry Godliman, Liza Tarbuck, me and the delightfully bonkers Lou Sanders and in spite of our previous triumphs we all had our fair share of disasters in this one show. But all got to shine too. And though it’s not about being funny, it’s about playing the contest, everyone was funny too (though much of the stuff is not suitable for broadcast), Liza maybe stealing the show with a brilliant and understated item in her task costume that never ceased to be hilarious.
It was lovely to do this show in front of an audience and close to the other contestants, after my series had been shot just after lockdown 1 ended and nice also to see the difference between scruffy, chubby post operation me doing the tasks and the me in the studio, uncharacteristically shod in a smart suit. It threw Greg off a bit, but he still managed to make jokes about me. You get to see my feet in one task and it’s not a pretty sight. They got an audible gasp of horror from the audience.
It is terrific to see how much this show is loved by its audience and they are correct to love it. It’s stupid and pointless and yet somehow vitally important. If you win it, it means absolutely nothing (though getting to come back and have another go was a lovely reward) and yet you still want to win it. But look, I am an House of Games Champion of Champions so I was happy to take my foot off the gas a bit tonight and give someone else the chance to feel what being a COC is like.
The team start work on the studios for series 13 tomorrow and all the other contestants have proper TV jobs to get back to, so only had one drink in the green room afterwards. I don’t suppose I will ever get to work with this brilliant crew (the behind the scenes people on this show are the absolute best) - I mean unless I won in which case I get to be in the Champion of Champions of Champions. But that’s going to be in another seven years, so even were I eligible I am not sure I will be alive still. Maybe it’s like Miss World and if the winner is disgraced or dies then the runner-up can become the new title holder. So I just need three people to die and I’m in.
All I will tell you is that I didn’t come fourth.
Spoilers.
We were all given a pineapple plant as a present. I wonder if I can keep it alive longer than I did for the one I got from series 10. There should be a trophy for whichever contestant grows the most pineapples. I think anyone who manages to get one should win that.
TV is nuts. You shouldn’t get presents for being in a show and for something like tonight it’s ridiculous that you also get paid, though I did my best to squander the fee on my prize task. You'll have to wait until an unspecified date in 2022 to find out whether it was worth it.
