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I got some good work done on the second AIOTM script today. It’s all progressing pretty well so far, but there’s a long way to go and the money is evaporating quickly, but I think it’s going to be a worthy experiment. I still have to write a slapdash audio episode by Sunday, but what I like about this show is the way that it forces me to bring an idea to life. In my downtime I was creating more AIOTM toilet mats. Chris Evans (not that one) had initially told me I needed 7, but in fact there are 26 to be sent out and so the other day I got another five boxes of the things delivered and today managed to decorate 10 of them with fabric paint and gametes. I wondered what George at Asda were making of the multiple toilet mat deliveries to one house and suddenly I had three more mini sketches exploring that idea. And I can pretty much guarantee that no other comedian has done material about having to make a huge number of customised toilet mats and the problems that that generates.
Of course we still have to learn the scripts and we’ve learned lots of technical things from the first show that will hopefully be improved in the second. Plus I still have a lot of sketches left to write and film. It’s a massive undertaking and it’s keeping me away from my proper job of writing a sitcom for Radio 4, but ah well.
My wife was out tonight and usually I might use that opportunity to play a bit of snooker, but I have too many podcasts going out as it is. I decided to have one drink. I didn’t fancy the harshness of whisky so was plumping for a gin and tonic, but when I checked in the fridge there didn’t seem to be any, but there were a couple of bottles of tomato juice. Maybe I could have a Bloody Mary. I don’t drink all that much vodka and have had a bottle of it in the freezer probably for as long as I’ve lived in this house. I got it out and there was only a small amount left. It looked like a couple of drinks’ worth. I thought about dividing the tomato juice into two portions and allowing myself two drinks over the night, but then reasoned, what’s the point of that? I might as well make one big drink and then I don’t have to return to the fridge. But when I came to pour the vodka in I realised there was probably a bit more than I thought. Was it worth stopping and leaving a little bit of vodka in the freezer - of course not, so I kept pouring until it was all in.
It was a bit too much vodka to be honest.
The Bloody Mary was so vodka-ey that it was practically clear. Is it still a Bloody Mary if it isn’t bloody? Or is it, as some suggested now just a Mary. Or as someone cleverer suggested, just a vodka.
But at least I had finally done my bit and got that vodka bottle in the recycling. I was helping to save the world. I drank my Mary pretty quickly and got a little bit drunk and live tweeted the Apprentice. It seems at first sight, that the candidates have never actually watched the Apprentice or surely they would have worked out some strategies for this advert task that comes up all the time. But at second glance I think they have watched the Apprentice and they know the truth. Lord Sugar can not fire the characters and the loose cannons early on. He will fire the dull and insipid. So as long as you throw some strops or do something outrageous or act like a lunatic you’ll be through to the middle stages at least.
OK, so I’ve made some good progress with RHLSTP bookings
Here’s what’s coming up and there’s some very exciting ones in there. I am particularly thrilled to have finally hooked the 31st October guest.
October 17th Chris Addison and Kerry Godliman
October 24th Ed Gamble and TBC
October 31st DAWN FRENCH and Deborah Frances-White
November 7th No one yet
November 14th Sara Pascoe and TBC
November 21st Sarah Millican and TBC
November 28th David Baddiel and Lucy Porter
Buy tickets here
