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What a fucker of a week this has been. I can’t recall being as depressed and terrified by the news since 11/9. Even though a lot of shit has gone down since 2001, this week has been unrelenting. And it doesn’t feel like something we’re going to put the lid on. Anger and frustration and mental illness have combined and the death of people who couldn’t be more innocent is the result. It’s like the Twitter has gained consciousness and taken everything written on there as a literal instruction. The fury is so misdirected in every case that it would be hard to purposefully choose people who deserved this less and I can only see it getting worse.
In the last blog I wrote about my willingness to die for a political system which I have a lot of problems with and then within a few hours a fine proponent of democracy and someone who gave a lie to the fact that all MPs are lazy, self-serving idiots who care nothing for the people they represent did exactly that. Not many of us would have heard of Jo Cox before, but her death hits us hard and sent shockwaves resonating through our entire nation. I don’t know what being British is, but I know it is not this and whether driven by mental illness or hatred or some perverse idea of nationalism or all three, this has gone much too far. On Wednesday Jo Cox and her family were caught up in the farce of the Thames flotilla as the Brexit supporters doused their boat with water (And you know, that seemed like a step too far, firing water at some kids) and today those kids don’t have a mother any more.
The personal tragedy of it is too much to bear, but the consequences for us all are bewildering and utterly horrifying. We don’t know the reasons yet and it’s pointless and offensive to speculate until all the facts are known. But some facts are that nobody deserves this to happen, some children have lost their mother, we’ve lost one of the good guys and this isn’t what anyone should want for the UK.
I want my country back.
This is a referendum that most of us didn’t want, that any sensible person feels unqualified to vote upon and which has divided our country in a way that I don’t think we can easily recover from. Because if this vote is close, as it seems certain to be, then is the losing side going to meekly agree and forget about their passion and anger. I mean we should do, because that’s democracy and we have to abide by it. Given the referendum can’t be cancelled now (though I wish it could and that this momentous decision was left in the hands of the politicians, who have passed the buck for all kinds of reasons, but none of them worthy) then I suppose the only tribute we can give is to go out and vote, whatever our opinion, just make sure we settle this as the ballot box and then abide by whatever the stupid, unqualified people of the UK decide.
But I can’t see that happening. Such strong feeling has been stirred up on both sides that the result will just divide us further. If we remain then Farage isn’t going to shut up and if we leave then I can’t see Scotland staying in the union. Whatever happens the losing side will blame the winning side for whatever happens in the economy or with immigration regardless of what the causes are.
My wife and I went out for a meal and a movie tonight, but we sat in silence for much of the time, both too depressed about what had happened to be able to move our minds anywhere else and what was there to say? As we left my wife said, “I have a question. It’s not about what you think.†And I wondered what it might be. She said, “Why do we have frozen peas?†She was right. It wasn’t what I thought t would be. “You know, most veg we have is fresh, so what is it about peas that means we keep them in the freezer."
As much as I wanted to answer I wondered what had led her to this train of thought, given all that had happened, but it’s quite a good question and it demanded an answer. I thought it was probably down to the fact that fresh peas, in their pods, take up a lot of space and take a lot of work to prepare, plus de-podded fresh peas don’t have a long shelf life. But also as a sweeter vegetable they are a good way of getting vitamin C and stuff into a child and so to have them handy and easy to cook is a boon. Plus, I am not sure, but I think most vegetables don’t survive the freezing process too well. Certainly fruit is never as nice. But peas, for whatever reason, come out of it pretty well. In fact frozen peas are arguably somehow nicer than fresh ones.
We discussed this for a good five minutes and it was a relief to think about something else. One of the many things that attracted me to my wife was the strange way her brain works. But at a time like this being made to think about why we freeze peas and pretty much no other vegetable was a great way to distract my brain from the horrible world and our inevitable self-inflicted doom. It was a reminder to enjoy and appreciate the ones we love, just on the off chance that the increasing madness of humanity impacts directly on us. Or, you know, more likely, you get run over or something.
