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Monday 1st January 2018

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Happy New Year.

I am thinking of writing a book called Frankenstein’s Hoover, all about the monster’s adventures with his Dyson.

Paw Patrol continues to damage my mental state. I spent all day singing these lyrics to the theme tune, “It’s all good fun, til you lose an eye. Then it’s not good fun because you’ve lost an eye.”

My new year’s resolutions are (pretty much as usual) to lose some weight, eat more healthily, get back into running and to read more. The first one will be easy enough in the short term, as since Boxing Day I have not been eating my bodyweight in chocolate and have only drunk on New Year’s Eve, so the first kilo has dropped off on its own. We’ve also started cooking stuff with vegetables in it again. I haven’t been for a run yet, but hope to try out my new running shoes tomorrow (though suspect I will manage five minutes maximum) and the reading is going OK. I got annoyed with myself for playing stupid iPhone games or looking at social media when I am feeding Ernie or sitting with Phoebe whilst she watches Paw Patrol and funds my pension with her art works. And have realised it’s just as easy to read stuff on my kindle or phone at these times. I’ve made a decent start on Stalin: The Court of the Red Tsar by Simon Sebag Montefiore, which I bought after seeing The Death of Stalin.
I did study the rise of the Bolsheviks and did a bit on Stalin for my A Levels, but only pre-war and that was over thirty years ago anyway. And I have found this book pretty gripping and easy to digest, even in little chunks. Though the subject matter is terrifying and the ease with which humanity seems capable of justifying barbarity and insanity very troublesome. But Sebag Montefiore (who I am respectfully resisting the temptation to constantly refer to as Teabag Montefiore because another new year’s resolution is to not be childish) also successfully reveals something of the human being behind the self-made myth of Stalin.
The important thing though is that reading is good. And I hope I can manage to read at least 20 books this year. Which is probably the only realistic resolution I have made.

I am delighted to announce the winner of our big end of year Badger/dripster draw is long-term fan(and I believe former queen of TMWRNJ) Jeanette Muff. What a lovely winner for chance to throw up. Jeanette has been coming to my shows since Lionel Nimrod’s Inexplicable World, so I am really happy to send her a box of stuff that I know she will get a lot of pleasure from (not necessarily including the butt plug that’s in there).
Join Drip or become a monthly badger and you could be next month’s winner!
All this money goes to making more RHLSTPs and then (if we make enough - some way off yet) we will make even more content. Plus you get loads of bonus stuff with both schemes.

If you liked Relativity and would like to vote for it in these awards as best Radio Sitcom, then you can. Tomorrow I hope to sit down and start work on series 2.


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