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Buoyed by his success at the Edinburgh Fringe (where the audience more than indulged him doing 3 jokes at the start of one RHLSTP) Ernie is keen to branch out on to the internet. I am equally keen to guard him from doing comedy on the internet, having met the kind of people who enjoy my stuff on there (oh you don't like it when the focus turns on you, do you?).
I have helped him film a few videos this weekend. I have to say his instincts are pretty good. He wanted to do a channel where he carried out experiments with his favourite fizzy drink. He knew we wouldn't let him show his face, so he's wearing a mask. He also was very insistent that we bought him a T shirt of the fizzy drink to wear in his videos.
We shot some yesterday, one where he failed to turn a bottle of pop into a rocket and then just stabbed it with a fork instead (my favourite bit was where I just focused in on the bottle as we waited) and another where he destroyed a can of rival soda because he hates it. He tried to do it with a garden trowel, but it didn't work, so he went inside to get a fork. My favourite bit was when I panned round the garden a bit waiting for him to return. Given how close the forks were, it took him a comically long time to return. And I like how this "character"'s experiments don't really work. He did one where he added mints to the soft drink and nothing happened, but he didn't use his trademark fork in that one.
Today we went out to buy more cans of drink and he dressed up in his costume, even though I'd told him we were trying to keep his identity secret. Everyone who passed by he'd namecheck himself and tell them to check out his youtube channel.
So we arrived back at the house - with Ernie with his arms full of cans of this specific drink, wearing a T-shirt of the drink (and also a mask) and our next door neighbour came out of her house, holding an almost empty bottle of the same drink.
She was initially surprised to see the disguised figure, but Ernie told her his character's name and then asked her why she was holding a bottle of the exact drink he seemed to be promoting.
"I just found this in our garden," she said.
"Ernie," I said, "Did you throw that over the fence?"
"No," said Ernie. Wearing a t-shirt of the drink and holding loads of the drink. Next door's garden has no access to anywhere except the neighbouring gardens. It seemed pretty unlikely that a bottle of soda could get in there without being thrown.
He couldn't have been any more busted.
"We're all trying to find the guy who did this".
Anyway, Ernie fronted it out and for a second I believed him, but I thought better of it and apologised. Our neighbour took it well.
We then went to film another sketch. Ernie had decided he wanted a grey beard so he could be the character's grandad so I ordered some fake beards yesterday and we shot a skit where the character's dad and grandad turn up and they are just Ernie, wearing different colour beards over his mask. I think he might be a comedy genius. Either that or just the same person as me.
The characters all decided to show each other their pants (oh dear, he's the same person as me) so we couldn't put it up on youtube anyway, because, you know, no offence, but everyone who likes online comedy is a paedo.
Anyway the videos are private so don't go searching for them, but maybe this could be three new characters for Twitch of Fun. So you might get to see this genius eventually.
In the afternoon Phoebe and I went to Hitchin football ground to watch Hitchin Women take on Leyton Orient in a preliminary round of the FA Cup. It's a great moment for the town and the club to be playing in this competition but I could see from the warm up that Orient were an impressively strong team. Hitchin lost 13-0 and really only had one viable shot on goal, but it was still a fun afternoon out and Hitchin did hold out for a good 25 minutes before the goals started going in. When the tenth goal went in I accepted that the comeback probably wasn't on. On the plus side none of the other fans were sick on the floor right next to us,
so it was a better experience than the last time I took Phoebe to a match.
