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Wednesday 7th May 2003

I completed purchase on my new house just before I went to Australia, so I havenÂ’t had time to move yet.
Whilst I was away someone left a dilapidated piano on the path inside my front gate.
It is falling apart and the top has come off and the keys are all wonky.

I donÂ’t understand. Is this a bizarre welcoming gift from my new neighbours? Have Laurel and Hardy been working down my street trying to deliver a piano with hilarious consequences? Or have the thieves who stole my shitty bike had a sudden pang of guilt, found out my new address and left me an equally shitty piano to make up for it?

What kind of person decides to dump a piano in someone else’s house? It’s just the ultimate selfishness isn’t it? “Well, I don’t want to have to pay the council to take it away, so I’ll put it on his property and he’ll have to deal with it.”
Why not just leave it on the pavement?

Well you can never have too many smashed and rotten pianos, I suppose. At the moment it is the only piece of furniture that I have at my new place.
So I might use it to sit on.
It will be my musical chair.

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