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God save the king!
Possibly the only coronation I will have a chance to witness in my lifetime. If Charles lives as long as his dad - and he’s looking so like him that I wonder if Phillip somehow managed to body swap with his son so he could get another 25 years on the throne - then this might be my first and last one. We headed to a party to celebrate this momentous occasion, but we were late as I’d taken Phoebe to football first (a wet affair, where her team went 3-0 down, but nearly got back to parity in a thrilling final quarter, but only managed two goals -still the most exciting football I’ve ever witnessed) and arrived just after the crown had been plonked on Charlie’s bonce. So now I have to live to see William crowned.
I didn’t even see the Stone of Scone. Which is my absolute favourite part of all this.
I actually thought Charlie looked a bit peaky. If he dies during the coronation perhaps they do a revolving door thing where they just crown the next in line instead. I don’t think they could justify the expense of doing this twice in a year. 1066 must have bankrupted the UK.
We’d seen the bit with the screens going round Charles before we’d left for the party. I told the kids that the king was getting naked behind there for the bit of the ceremony where he spins his willy around like a helicopter, as every monarch has done since William the Conqueror (actually a mishearing of the Cock Rotator). Yes including the queens who twirl a bejewelled golden strap on (I didn’t say that bit to the kids). It says something about the ludicrousness of this occasion that they weren’t sure if I was lying. And nor was I. Who knows what he’s doing behind there?
And no one can say I am not a royalist. Look at me in this picture. How did I make my eye shine with evil? Just like the real deal. Let’s say I was really in character (and don’t worry -that’s a non-alcoholic beer. I haven’t cracked yet).
Luckily this was just an opportunity to hang out with friends, eat too many crisps and let the kids get soaking on a bouncy castle and we didn’t pay too much attention to the ceremony. Though it was on in the background and did seem to go on for an awfully long time. I think they should have crowned Camilla before Charles though - always end on the biggest name. But well done to Camilla for managing to become queen when so many people said she’d never be their queen. It wasn’t like the protestors who got banged up were even upset about that detail. She’s won us all over.
It doesn’t look like we’ll get a Republic any time soon, just as electoral reform seems a long way away, but I guess if things go shit enough in the next few years you never know how far things might get overthrown.
God Save The King.
And then if you have any time left over, God Help Us.
