CNPS numbers spotted 4 (789)
Date 40 tonight and the end is in sight. We went to a comedy benefit night organised by Sunday Times pop music critic, Stewart Lee. Embarrassingly 5 and 26 were also attending, but 40 took it well and didn't make a fuss. She just looked pleased that she was the one who had me tonight. 5 and 26 were obviously both jealous of lucky 40. They'd even gone to the lengths of bringing other men with them, in an attempt to make me believe that they haven't spent the last 35 and 14 nights respectively pining for my company. I wasn't fooled: the men were clearly gay and just patsies. It is sweet that my girls put up this pretence. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them put on a show of never wanting to see me again, perhaps ignoring my texts and phone calls or telling me that they don't care what the lottery results are - they don't ever want to see me again.
They will only be able to keep these transparent charades up for 30 years or so.
"Please don't fight over me, girls," I said,"
Bless them, they all made a decent stab of pretending they didn't want to fight. But I asked the bouncers to keep an eye on them. The last thing I want is to arrive at a situation where a pile of women are brawling for my attention and possibly ripping each other's garments in the process.
There is enough of me to go round; especially after all the booze and food that I've been consuming in the last six weeks.