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Another game of Kubbs and another victory. Is there another game in the world that I have played but not been beaten at? Could I get to the Olympics with this?
I wasn't very good today, but my brother-in-law was an addition to our side and he took to it very quickly and once again we turned around what looked like very likely defeat into stunning victory. It's the best sport in the world (involving other players).
Before all this I'd made Sunday lunch for our friends who'd stayed over. It's been a full on week of work and family stuff and no time to really rest up and having four kids in the house all weekend was a special kind of, I don't want to say Hell, but I can't really think of another word. Some people have four children in their house all the time. Some have more. How? Why? What?
After lunch everyone else was eating a bar of 85% dark chocolate. I have not really eaten chocolate since 2018 (the occasional bit has slipped through in a cake or ice cream, but otherwise I've steered clear), but I think my real nemesis is Cadburys and I decided to sample this bar, because surely it would be too strong for me to wolf down the whole lot (but would it open the chocolate door? This isn't a sexual euphemism. It's the door that lets chocolate into my mouth. It's not a literal door, but it's been an abstract one that has worked as efficiently as a real chocolate door, by which I mean a plank of wood that you nail over your anus to prevent anal sex)
I had a little nibble and felt like (I imagine) I'd just had a big old smell of some nose cocaine. It blew my socks off (metaphorically again), but my chocolate door remained bolted shut, aside from allowing this little bit in through the letterbox (never put a letterbox in your actual chocolate door as it defeats the point). Maybe I could allow myself back into the ante chamber of the chocolate palace and have this kind of chocolate every now and again. I don't think it's a slippery slope. It took me five minutes to eat the tiny square I had been given and I was on the ceiling and wanted no more for fear that I blast into space like a lift in a poorly judged Chocolate Factory sequel (the chocolate factory is an actual chocolate factory in this sentence - though I suppose technically it's an imaginary one, but it's not like the chocolate palace or the non-anal sex chocolate door, which are both imaginary and refer to things that they are not - I hope that's clear).
It turns out that 85% chocolate, despite only being 15% off being 100% chocolate and certainly a lot more per centage of chocolate than Cadburys is, is not chocolate. I can eat it and not be dragged back into my chocolate opium den. Not a real place. I think you've got it.
