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Thursday 30th July 2009

Not much time to sleep before Collings was round to record podcast 74, a jam-packed fun bag, mainly dealing with the Guardian's Herringgate, but also managed to talk about organic food, McVities unpleasant caramel chocolate digestives and RAF Locking near Weston-Super-Mare. We also wanted to pay tribute to Tina Wiseman in the appropriately inappropriate way that we knew she would have wanted. Eerily the podcast began in the middle of a frantic downpour of rain - perhaps God was crying (too late now, you stupid fucker - take one of the idiots next time) or maybe Tina was throwing buckets of water on us or maybe it was just raining. But the rain hammered on the roof above us and added to an already tense and angry atmosphere. I hope we did Tina proud. I had wanted to make sure we were as disgusting as usual and in places may have surpassed myself. But I am proud of myself for saying that Tina would have wanted us to bum each other and threatening to use my cyst pus as lubricant. I think that no human being could get a better tribute than that.
I hope Tina can hear them wherever she is, and if she is in some place outside of time and is able to listen to future ones and see the reaction that they will get, then perhaps she can get in touch and warn me about which lines liberal newspapers will take out of context. Tina's friends seemed to appreciate the tone of the podcast, which is all that really mattered to me. I think it's a good one. Have a listen.
Then I was in a ridiculous rush to pack all my stuff for Edinburgh and get on the road in time to get to my gig in Leicester. I had done no packing at all and was frantically trying to work out what I would need for the month ahead and trying to second guess what I would forget (my swimming trunks turned out to be at least one of the things). Also realised I hadn't yet recorded an opening for the show and so Collings helped me sort something out on Garageband - which means if you come to the show you will hear his Mr Bean voice welcoming me on to stage over Ride of the Valkyries. He was very helpful. He deserves this moment of fame. And to be associated with a racist show.
Somehow managed to get everything I needed to get done in time to race up North and even though the traffic was surprisingly light and we made good progress I ended up getting to the gig with only about ten minutes to spare.
A man had come with a Hitler moustache. I had met him before, years before I had my toothbrush as he had turned up at the same venue with a little model of Sooty which had its arm raised up and on which he had drawn a Hitler moustache. The man wanted a photo of the two of us together then and now , not surprisingly, he wanted another. I wonder if it was little Sooty who planted the seed of this idea in my head. Who knows?

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