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So far no big offers coming in as a result of Bake Off, but that's probably good news. The big beasts of entertainment are all circling me, waiting to make their move , so in this case, no apparent interest whatsoever in ever having me back on TV is actually a sign of how much everyone on TV wants me back.
I'm playing it cool, don't worry. Today I was mainly relieved that Scott Mills hadn't been in my episode (as he is supposed to be in this series). No idea what's happened there, but I would think there's a possibility that his episode won't get shown. It would be incredibly annoying to have done that filming (and been so brilliant at baking) for it then to never be shown.
The kids will be sad when they hear that Scott Mills isn't on the radio any more, as we listened to him on the drive to school and they really liked the jingle where he said "If you're running late... BLAME ME!"
I guess that's the least of his worries at the moment. Though a bit of dramatic irony in there somewhere.
I did however, make headline news in all the tabloids for spilling blood. It's OK if it's your own. The journalists though have treated my fairly minor apple peeling accident into something that sounds much more serious. The Sun said "Medics rush to Bake Off tent as star has bloody accident on set and Alison Hammond looks panicked."
I am not sure how accurate that is. Firstly there was only one medic. He was a very nice man (sorry I've forgotten your name), though he did have to come back a couple of times as his first attempts to stop me bleeding failed (and this was before any low white blood cell issues). Also I am not sure you can call me a "star" even of any of the shows I fronted. "Man on Bake Off cos he had cancer" might be more accurate. Also Alison Hammond couldn't have cared less and rightly found it funny.
The Daily Express calls it a "horror injury". I hope they never have to report on a war or a plane crash - they're going to shit their pants. The Daily Mail said I was "heard shrieking in the background" whereas I think I just swore and said ouch. Many of the other papers called it chaos.
Anyway I suppose if the tabloids are going to print half-truths about you, then it's better that they do this.
If reading this means you're now running late, blame Scott Mills.
Newsround today, where I display the hubris of a housebound Mexican zip-wirer and say I don't need to do the show any more.
More great guest news for RHLSTP on 20th April for badgers and substack Paid Subscribers. But that show already has Natasha Hodgson from Operation Mincemeat,
so what are you waiting for?
