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Wednesday 30th January 2008

Days without alcohol - 31
It's been a month since my last drink. I can't quite believe it. And the really amazing thing is that I still don't want a drink. I'm not missing it at all. It's a bit freaky.

Is there one insane person in every Post Office queue? I know that Post Office queues are long, due to the inefficiency of Post Office staff -as immortalised in the stupid fucking poster putting up adverts that are STILL playing on a loop as you wait - so there's a higher proportional chance of one person being a bit crazy every now and again. But every time I have been there there has been someone talking to themselves or to anyone who will listen and spouting horrible nonsense. How do the staff cope? No wonder they can't hang a poster - they must be shaking so much that they can barely stick a stamp on an envelope.
Today's man was standing right behind me and an endless monologue of filth and racial unpleasantness was spewing from his mouth. It was doubly confusing as he himself was black, yet as far as I could tell, was bemoaning the fact that many of the staff were of ethnic origins and this was some kind of sign or the collapse of civilisation. To balance things up though he was calling some unspecified woman in front of him an Anglo-Saxon bitch. So who knows where his true allegiances lay? Certainly not him.
It is a bit disconcerting to have someone like that standing behind you in a queue, especially when things are moving slowly and that is antagonising them further. I think a couple of comments may have been aimed at me, but I didn't risk turning to catch his eye, even at when point when he was letting out a slightly infectious, gutteral chuckle.
Were I a TV executive and someone came in and pitched a character comedy show set in the queue to a Post Office, with one slightly limited actor/comedian playing all the parts, I would commission it immediately. Because I would be an idiot. Fuck it, if you are an idiot and that's your job, you can have that idea for nothing. As long as you give the whole thing an even darker edge by having the same stupid adverts playing on a loop until they drive the actual staff of the branch insane and they slaughter everyone in the place. Commission x 12.

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