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Monday 27th October 2003

I managed to run for over seventy minutes non stop today. I don't know how far I went, I'm guessing about seven miles. I ran from my house, down to the river (not through Marks and Spencers this time. It just felt too wrong) and then from Hammersmith bridge to Barnes Bridge, then back down the other side and home again. I didn't even get all that tired adn could certainly have carried on if I had had to. Say some kind of gun toting maniac who likes to see fat people jog large distances had threatened me with death.
The sense of achievement I got for completing this run was so great that I think if I manage to finish the Marathon my head will probably explode (and not just because I will have been shot by that fat person jogging loving homicidal lunatic, angered at me having the audacity to stop after just twenty six and a bit miles).
Although the Marathon would involve me doing the run I did today maybe four more times over (depending on just how much ground I actually covered) I am starting to think that this is achievable. I have several months left to train and am going to start getting serious about it in January.
Perhaps if I really want to feel a sense of satisfaction I should stop training. And maybe get really drunk the night before. To run twenty six miles with no preparation and a hangover would be a real accolade. Possibly they should also replace the people handing out water every mile or so with people handing out pints of beer. And then at the finishing line you have to down twenty six shots in a row.
Imagine just how wobbly the wobbly men at the end of the race would be if they were unfit and drunk as well as exhausted.
It would certainly be entertaining and also help weed out the weak from our population.
Yeah, training is for wimps. I'm just going to turn up on the day and see what happens. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

I do love the wobbly men at the end of the Marathon. In fact, for a laugh I was thinking of pretending to be one of them when (if) I reach the home straight. For one thing it guarantees you some TV coverage. And the commentators will talk about you and praise your bravery. Then just as I am getting to the line I will stop wobbling and run properly, laughing and the commentators will be forced to back track and criticise me for my stupidity.
The good thing about this plan is that it covers me if I actually do turn out to be one of the wobbly men. I can just say I was messing around and forgot to do the additional gag of suddenly being OK again. And yes, part of the joke was to collapse and have to go to hospital for five days. But all the time in the "coma" I was laughing at the idiot doctors who had fallen for my trick.
I fear that in reality my vanity will make me have to stride up to the finishing line, picking up the pace nand holding in my stomach, like I do every time I pass a pretty girl during my daily runs.

You will notice the link above which allows you to make an online donation to sponsor me in my insane plan (the genuine one of training properly, not the really insane beer marathon version). I hope you will feel like making a contribution however small. Even if you all just gave one pence for every Warming Up entry that you've read (and some of them really are only worth one pence) then we could raise a huge amount of cash. Several of you have already been more generous than that and I have no doubt that we will reach the £1150 I have pledged to take part. Let's see just how much more we will be able to make. There will shortly be a PO Box address to send cheques to if you haven't got a credit or switch card.
Thanks to all of those of you who have already given. I realise that there is definitely no way out of this now.

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