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Sunday 26th June 2022


If you’re on suicide watch the guards are only there to stop you killing yourself. They don’t have to intervene if someone else is doing it.

I am thinking of starting to take my comedy career seriously.
I have so much natural talent that it never really seemed fair to the others if I also put in effort, but maybe I owe it to my many fans to up my game a bit. My fans are quite stupid though, so they might not be able to keep up if I move the comedy up a gear. Don’t worry though, idiots. I am only thinking about it for the moment. I will let you know when I start.

After the 10K run I did back in May I have been keen to get back into running and had signed up for another local 10K today. It was a sunny day and pretty hot and of course I hadn’t checked to see what the course was like, but it turned out to be quite challenging, with a significant, long and steep hill at the 3km point and another shorter but steep one at 9km (c'mon guys). But I am fitter than I was a couple of months ago (though haven’t done loads of running) and I managed to keep going and it was actually a pretty fun run. I was hoping to make it in under an hour, so was pretty pleased to come in at 57 minutes 43 seconds. I had plenty left in the tank too and ended strongly. It felt good.
Having seen my relatively thin frame on Taskmaster, I am keen to get back to the level of fitness I had back in the autumn of last year and I think the training for the half marathon made the difference back then. And so on a bit of an impulse I looked into half marathons when I got home. The Knebworth one is on October 30th and then there is one in Stevenage a week later. Wouldn’t it be cool if I did them both and ran a (pretty slow) Marathon in two parts? I decided to force the issue by signing up for both and setting up a just giving page. As I will be finishing in November it seemed apt to do them for Movember in the hope that we can finally persuade the powers that be to give us an international men’s day. 
So that’s what I am doing. You can make sure I don’t back out of this endeavour by sponsoring me right now

Luckily we had help with the kids and they were out having fun, so it meant I could have a fairly relaxing afternoon. I just had to put some jacket potatoes in the oven. I had even set an alarm so I wouldn’t forget.  I got them all ready and waited for the oven to warm up. I went to do some admin and got quite into it. So much so that when the kids got back an hour later I realised I’d forgotten to put the potatoes in the oven. It’s a tale as old as time, but it was very frustrating. They were back a bit early though, so I bumped dinner time to a bit later and hoped that the potatoes would cook fast. The little kids ones were fine, but mine and Catie’s had to go in the microwave. All in all this probably isn’t a story worth telling on the blog, but as I said, I haven’t started taking comedy seriously yet. But it’s a story that illustrates what it is to be human. Incompetent and forgetful. Trying hard to do something right and still fucking up. 
And we all ended up with nice jacket potatoes in the end.
I got the kids to bed pretty playfully, having come up with a game where I pretend the milk is mine and then ask them to make sure no one drinks it whilst I look the other way. They then, of course, drink it themselves and I ask them what happened to my milk and they have to come up with explanations as to what has happened. My son, who doesn’t usually drink his milk at night, was well into this and laughing his head off. When I asked him what he was laughing at he said he was looking at one of his pictures on the wall and laughing because it looked like a poo. I am teaching them to be dishonest, the greatest gift a father can give his kids. But the important thing is that they drank their milk.
Phoebe painted my nails with some Frozen nail varnish. It’s just purple and comes in a bottle with Elsa on it, it can’t make you turn stuff to ice. I still have the nail varnish on now. Being a dad can be fun.

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