Mate, we’ve got water on earth. Stupid NASA wasting our time. And all that money. Idiots.
I just poured some water out of the tap. And it was free.
I wore my running kit all day. I didn't go running. But at least it's a start.
After watching some of this week’s largely disappointing Saturday Night Live before bed (even when they have a good idea they tend to run it into the ground - I know that’s a bit rich coming from me, but there’s been very few good ideas in the last two shows and they don’t really seem to have managed to make much of the lead up to the election, which they’ve done to good effect the last two or three times), I had a very vivid dream just before waking about going to America with my wife to write for the show. It was one of those dreams where you recognised people that you’ve never actually met, and which you suspect you have met before in other dreams. Not celebrities or anything, just characters that seem familiar to you and when you wake up you realise don’t exist. Except perhaps in previous dreams.
Imagine being one of those guys. Must be a weird existence for them. But then maybe they don’t know that they are just a figment of your imagination.
Hold on. What if I am the figment?
Anyway the whole set up at SNL was much more relaxed than I’d imagined (even though I was imagining it) and had quite a lot of English writers on it. And they really tried to help us fit in. So if next week’s show is no good then blame me, my wife and those figments.
We keep making the mistake of giving the kids cake before bed time. We have a too big birthday cake from last week to get through, but I don’t know why we only think to give it to them at 5.30pm. My son only eats the icing and then goes ballistic. He doesn’t even know how crazy he’s being. It’s interesting to watch. Especially given how much sugar I have eaten in my life. Sure I avoided cocaine (almost entirely) but had so much actual sherbert that I probably ended up being wilder than Frank Bough and Angus Deayton combined.
It’s not a terrible idea as long as you give it to the kids at least 90 minutes before bed time. The energy fizzled out like an engine with no fuel left and Ernie fell asleep straight away.
Another great night of snooker - plus thanks to a raid where I suddenly got an audience of about 1000 people, I had to do a bonus frame betwixt two random players. You can catch it on YouTube or as a podcast on Tuesday or in the Twitch videos.
If this doesn’t convince you to watch the show -every Thursday at 7.30pm, then nothing can.