Listening to Coldplay today. I have met Chris Martin a couple of times (I've been drunk and of course he has been sober on both occassions).
The first time was when Al Murray invited me round for dinner (maybe two years ago) and Chris was one of the other guests. At the time I had no idea who he was. I think I'd vaguely heard of Coldplay and knew one of their songs (the one about things that are yellow, not often enough celebrated in song in my opinion).
I have to say that he was a thoroughly nice bloke, genuinely modest and unassuming. He could so much better than Gwyneth Paltrow. He should set his sights higher - this is obviously a kind of a joke. I have to say his attitude to his relationship with her (whatever it may be) is spot on. It's no-one's business. Contrast that with Zeta Jones and Douglas, who sell photos of their personal moments to magazines and then get annoyed when other magazines are interested in showing more photos. They've put their personal lives in the public eye and so can't complain. But someone like Chris (or any normal person) would say, well that's my business, not yours, of course I'm not even going to talk about it.
Anyway, the reason I mention this dinner thing is not to name drop about the only celebrities I have met who have not then immediately had me taken away by security, but because after dinner we played Trivial Pursuits.
Oh yeah, very rock 'n' roll. Well more sport 'n'leisure.
Now every time that Chris landed on the History square, Al and me would always (and I mean always) sing "He's gone for Yelloooow!"
It is a measure of how good a bloke he is that he didn't even get the slightest bit annoyed by this. Even though we did it EVERY time.
I can't remember who won, but I remember it wasn't me. I am a bad loser even when sober, so there's a good chance that Chris won and that I then stuffed all the yellow pieces of pie up his nose, whilst madly screaming "You've got all the yelloooooows!"
Today I thought about e mailing Al and asking if he could set up a re-match. The reason? Obvious. On listening to the new track, which I believe is called "The Scientist", I noticed another thing that I could sing at Chris Martin if I was playing Trivial Pursuits with him. There's a line that goes "Questions of Science, Science and" something or other. It doesn't matter what it says because if I could engineer a situation where I am playing Chris Martin at Trivial Pursuits again (unlikely after last time) then not only could I sing "Yelloooow" every time he lands on history, I could sing "Questions of science, science and nature" every time he lands on green.
It would be hilarious.
But I doubt that Chris Martin will want to play Trivial Pursuits with me after the possible pie slices up the nostril incident of two years ago.
So I put this into the public arena in the hope that one day one of you will be playing Chris Martin at Trivial Pursuits and so will be able to play this excellent gag on him - EVERY time he lands on green or yellooooow.
Or maybe I could arrange a match with Darius instead.
Incidentally, I am aware the game is called Trivial Pursuit. I am calling it Trivial Pursuits as a joke to amuse myself. It's the kind of thing your gran would do.
