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Tuesday 21st September 2021


Customer: Barman, what’s the deal with that triangle with sides of all different lengths who is in this pub every time I come in? 
Barman: He’s irregular. 

It’s an actual proper joke. I guess I am bound to come up with one or two accidentally in 32 years. 

You have to be nice to me, I’ve had cancer.

I did come up with some better stuff (I think) for Relativity today. It seems that a few largely uninterrupted days where I could concentrate on the scripts might have been all that I needed. That and the looming dread of turning up at the studio with nothing to say. I have always thrived on taking on too much and then never having any kind of a life as I miserably fail to get anything done til the last minute. 
Other comedians seem to go out and do stuff all the time, whilst I sit inside writing or failing to write. When do they do their work? Or do they all have Morlock people like me locked away out of the sunshine? And why don’t those Morlocks just send them the shit jokes about triangles in pubs rather than keeping them fed with decent material that means the comedians can go to the Chelsea Flower Show.
I don’t want to go the Chelsea Flower Show. It’s just annoying seeing other people having fun when you’re working. 
Like when I was revising for my A levels and watched all the kids cycling down the road in the sunshine. I thought that if I gave up that time then in the long run it would lead to more time in the sunshine. But it just led to more time inside working whilst the cool kids played. 
I think I probably like it that way in truth. I usually fail to go and have fun even when I’ve got nothing to do.
My main “talent” is probably my capacity to graft and my relentlessness in seeing an idea through. May I present this blog to you as evidence. One of my “friends” said to me that I’d never be able to keep this up once I had kids. But he underestimated me (as he always did). Carrying on through depression or on days when you’ve done nothing but work is the real challenge anyway. Kids, if anything, provide at least two bloggable anecdotes a week. 
I do wonder how I would have fared if I’d attempted to blog when I was writing the first series of Time Gentlemen Please. I was more or less working for every hour that I was awake then and so don’t know if I would have had any time to blog or anything to write about, apart from how hard work was. But something usually comes up even in a day when you’ve done nothing but work and childcare (like today).

I got the first draft of the second script of series 4 of Relativity off to the producer today. And I had to bump a longish final scene to episode three, so am already on my way with the next one. 
First one took four months, that one took three weeks. Have six weeks to do the rest (and do second drafts of them all). Pimpsy.
It’s all still very draft one and there’s a bit of work on pacing and adding more layers to it and making sure all the actors have enough to do (for the first time my character is perhaps the main focus of this series), but I think it’s basically there. It’s a mild relief, followed by the immediate tension of knowing I have to do this four more times. But final episode aside, I have a plan.
And I managed to squeeze in two other podcasts to today. A satisfyingly easy stone clear this morning because Stone Christmas is here and a very exciting penultimate episode of the ESLOSPS league which had a big impact on the top, middle and bottom of the table (out on Wednesday on audio and video).
And I did the kids’ bath and bedtime on my own which turned into a mild challenge as my daughter practices becoming a teenager 7 years early (though she was sweet as pie by the time I read her her bedtime story).
I even had another go on the rowing machine, but was tired out after 20 minutes of a quite intense Apple Fitness session.
There, managed to blog today. But what of tomorrow? 
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
That’s actually quite a good way to get a script done - just say everything three times. Thanks for the tip Bill.

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