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This morning there was a ghost in our kitchen. I put a milk bottle on the counter and didn't properly put the lid on. And then about every 20 seconds a ghost tried (and failed) to take the lid off.
I filmed it, so no one can deny it happened.
I have a couple of social media pet peeves to talk about today. Sorry, make that three. I also hate it when people refer to something they don't like as a pet peeve.
They are more social media self-owns. The first is when the line-up is announced for a Celebrity version of a TV show and thousands of people post, "Celebrity? I've never heard of any of them." This isn't because I occasionally appear on these things and no one knows who I am - that's fair enough. The definition in that case has been stretched.
But you not knowing anyone from the line-up of Strictly or Celeb Traitors isn't throwing shade on them or the booker. The reason you don't recognise King Kenny or Bethany Antonia is not because they are not well-known in their fields, it's because they are well-known in fields that you are too old or out of touch to be interested in. Or just not interested in. Which is fine.
I don't know who King Kenny or Bethany Antonia are, but I will never reveal that fact because rather than questioning their credentials, it makes me look like I don't know something. I think wilfully displaying your own ignorance makes you look ignorant. Or out of touch. Or interested in the kind of things that dull old farts would be interested in. Like things that happened forty years ago.
Yes, the definition of celebrity may have broadened since your own youth, when limited means of achieving fame existed and most of us were ingesting vaguely similar product. But remember your grandad would still get annoyed that music groups weren't as good as the ones from his day or that you couldn't tell who were men or women (thank god you're not around now grandad) or that the people you liked were flash in the pans.
That's what you are now, person saying "Well, I've never heard of them." You are your own stupid grandad. Does that mean that grandad wasn't so stupid after all (a little bit) or that you are just brazenly wallowing in your own lack of knowledge? (mostly).
Some of the younger "celebrities" inevitably don't have the CVs of some of the older ones, but often they have way more reach than that comedian that you vaguely remember almost making it in the 1990s.
Really, I am not the person to be making this point, as I really am someone who gets on these shows and is not in any sense a person of renown. As I may have pointed out before, some people have imposter syndrome, but the occasional actual imposter sneaks in to any job and manages to get away with it. Anyone who talks about having imposter syndrome does not have imposter syndrome as they are tacitly saying that they know they are suffering from a syndrome and actually are not an imposter at all. I am the only person brave enough to admit that I am an actual imposter. A total no-talent chancer who does not deserve to be on his (admittedly lowly) rung of the ladder.
Does that mean I have imposter syndrome?
Possibly.
But I have such an acute case of imposter syndrome that I would never say I have imposter syndrome as that would reveal that I didn't actually think I am an imposter. Which I am.
My point remains, you saying you don't know who a celebrity is (apart from me and Paddy McGuinness) does not mean they are not actually a celebrity. It means that you are fucking stupid or uncool or at best just interested in different things than other people. No one is capable of keeping on top of the notable figures in every discipline, but you not knowing something is a problem for you not anyone else. I remember a time when celebrities were proper celebrities, but also when people kept their mouths shut about stuff they didn't know anything about for fear of being revealed as a fucking idiot.
All of us are fucking idiots hoping no one realises. I am not the only imposter here.
The other social media trend that fucks me off is people saying, "Am I the only one who has isn't watching Celebrity Traitors?" or "I am proud to say I've never watched one second of Love Island" (or whatever) as if these thing make them maverick and/or interesting.
No mate, you're not the only one who isn't watching Celebrity Traitors. It's one of most popular TV shows in the country but it gets about 10 million viewers. There are nearly 70 million peope in the UK. You are one of a huge majority of people who have no interest in the show. If you want to look interesting and different than the herd then you should be showing off about watching this niche programme that only one in seven people tune into.
Also if you haven't watched it then how do you know what it's like? Maybe it's brilliant and you'd love it. Again you're posting from a position of ignorance. Why are you proud to not have seen a second of a show that some other people enjoy? You haven't seen it. Maybe you'd like it. Surely you need to have a little look to be sure. Why are you so annoyed that other people are mentioning something they like, just because you don't watch it? Not everything is for everyone.
Sure make a reasonable guess that you might not like something and don't bother with it, but don't be proud of that or think it makes you more unique or interesting. As the celebrity thing above shows, most people have no idea about 99% of what is going on in the world (or even their own bit of it). And there's loads of stuff that's not meant for you so you don't have to worry about not being involved.
Anyway, I would never slag off something never intended for me in an attempt to raise my personal cache.
Ignore the dig at Paddy McGuinness earlier in this piece. I am proud to say I have never watched anything he's done.
Am I the only one who is fed up of people thinking they’re the only one thinking something that hundreds of people are thinking? I think I am and I feel pretty smug about it.
