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So the Duke of York title is up for grabs. I am not sure Prince Andrew even supported York City (perhaps his greatest crime), so it's time for someone who has a real connection with the city (albeit someone who has never lived there and who left the county when he was 4) to take up the job.
I am too modest to suggest myself (although weirdly I do fit all the above attributes). You know my number Charlie.
It has to be said that losing the Dukedom and the Garter thing doesn't seem much of a punishment when he gets to keep the Prince thing and the house.
This goes beyond the sex crimes of one man (though I am not belittling the seriousness of those), but having read Entitled by Andrew Lownie, it's clear just how much the royal family is leeching off us and raising funds by dubious means and spending it on frivolities. Fergie's wastefulness and piss taking and using her (not actual) title to gain sponsorships and walk away from bills unpaid are frankly astonishing and it's time for us to realise that we don't need this many royals (if we need any at all).
I am pretty much prepared to have a very much downsized royal family, who maybe live in a nice house in central London and who turn up for events in fun clothes and who, when they die, we contribute £5000 to give them a nice funeral and maybe give them a cool grave in Westminster Abbey. Stick them on the coins and the stamps, if that rings their bell. Respect our history and remember it, but accept that that system is over and isn't fair on us or the people caught in the big trap.
What you really get from Lownie's book is the huge whole in the souls of the former Duke and Duchess of York. It doesn't excuse any of the crimes or the meanness or the entitlement, but it probably wasn't very fair to give Andrew everything he wanted since birth and Fergie everything she wanted since marriage.
And it's not like Charles or Diana or Harry or William or any but the very minor ones who get the money without the restrictions, have had very happy lives.
Let's take back the Palaces and the land and use it to bring income in for the UK through tourism and set the posh idiots free from the gilded prison they live in. And put a couple of them in an actual prison. You know. For the crimes.
Also Andrew - you're fucked mate - try and make up for all this a little bit by telling us all about the other people involved in Epstein's crimes. I know there's a danger of you having an unplanned non-suspicious suicide as a result, but you'd have done the right thing and be less of a sweaty, pizza-smeared laughing stock.
If you missed the Andrew Lownie Book Club -
listen NOW.
It's amazing that RHLSTP Book Club is able to attract authors of the calibre of Sebastian Faulks (though he's no Olaf Falafel). Today the podcast with me talking to one of our greatest living novelists
is up wherever you may pod.He's a fucking dude.
