Warming Up

8420/21339 = 0.3945826889732415

The great thing about technology is that as it has no soul or brain it has the persistence of a Herring and will just keep trying, even when you're not interested. Every morning, when I am listening to audiobooks or podcasts on my dog walk I am interrupted by a voice notification from an app called Any.Do saying "Notification from any.do. What will you accomplish today?"

I don't remember downloading any.do or ever using it, but I must have done so at some point many years ago. But even though I have shown no interest and have never responded to the daily reminder, every day it brightly asks me the same question. Maybe today will be the day? Maybe if it just never stops I will feel embarrassed and open the app and tell it what I want to any.do today.

It's very much the spirit that I have based my career on. There's lots of people who get my blog emailed to them, but never open it. Yet still the emails go out, only to be ignored. Maybe one day those people will relent and have a look. If it's today they'll get a treat as the blog is about them!

It has finally worked for any.do because today, after years of being asked what I was doing today I did have a look at the app to see what the fuck it was. And it looks like I did use it a bit a while ago. It must have been around autumn 2021 as one of the tasks I have ticked off on my to do list was to do intros for Wang and Gorman podcasts. My shopping list just has one item, which I didn't buy- bananas. I maybe did buy them, but didn't tick it off.

Any.do still remembers that glorious brief time when it was my favoured to do list app and wants to go back. But I prefer to do my to do lists on paper now.

I know I could just delete the app or stop the notifications, but I admire its spirit. Just as I won't delete the phone numbers of people that have died, I will not delete an app that is very much alive and might be sending me notifications about what I want to achieve after I, myself, have died. Maybe for the rest of eternity. Maybe it's all that will survive of human civilisation, a plaintive, unanswered request to document my ambitions. Even though the days that I had ambition or incentive to do anything useful, have long gone.

I am attempting to line up some Christmas treats for you in podcast form as we take a couple of weeks off regular RHLSTPs. I thought this would mean I got to do less work, but I was wrong. Today I decided to do a RHLSTP Book Club with the author of the Kickstarter pamphlet "I, Right Bollock", Right Bollock.

I didn't know if I could do a whole podcast discussing a 5000 word "book" with a piece of foam rubber who didn't actually write anything (don't tell anyone, but I was actually the Ghost Writer of this book, but am uncredited).

If you'd told me five years ago that in five years time I'd be having a ventriloquised conversation with a representation of my cancerous testicle about a book he's supposedly he'd written, I'd have said, "What? I've got testicular cancer? Why didn't you lead with that? And if you know about it why not just tell me to go to the doctors rather than mention all that other nonsense? Though thanks for letting me know if doesn't kill me within 5 years. I guess I don't need to worry too much."

I mean I probably have some proper work I should be getting on with, but let's do a book podcast for a book that isn't currently for sale (though we are going to print some more if you missed the kickstarter, though they will be worthless second edition ones, so your kickstarter millions are still assured).

Anyway you'll be able to listen to the podcast (and watch it if you're a badger http://gofasterstripe.com/badges) on Boxing Day.

Hopefully you'll get a stone clear and a New Year's Eve Twitch of Fun too. Maybe even some snooker. It's been tricky to keep up the pace on these podcasts, mainly due to the fact that I don't live near enough to my field any more and the kids go to bed later and by the time they are asleep I want to go to sleep. Hopefully in 2026 I'll get no proper work and can get back to what is important. Making podcasts that make no money and are listened to by under 100 people.

And if you only read Warming Up on my webpage, remember you can get it delivered to your inbox if you subscribe on Substack. You get some extra pictures and occasionally (if you pay a small amount) extra content. And a more or less daily email that you can fail to ever open to make me feel like an unloved app.

If you want to take out a paid sub then now is a good time because as a Christmas treat there's 50% off until Friday. It's just over £2 a month or 50p a week for a whole year. Details here. And the more people that do it the more time I can devote to doing stupid podcasts where I talk to myself or attempt to write novels a chapter at a time.