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Sunday 16th October 2011

Apparently later in the night Matthew fell asleep. I suspect that he carried on sleeping through most of today and doubt he remembers anything of the show he was at and became a part of.
I enjoyed a day off with Sunday lunch at my girlfriend's parents' house to celebrate her gran's birthday. My girlfriend told me that her gran and grandad's first date had been to see the Disney film Pinocchio. A couple of years ago the grandma had received this film on DVD for her birthday from her grandkids. I pointed out that if our grandchildren (if they ever exist and I live long enough to meet them) want to do the same they will have to buy us the film "Dan in Real Life". We saw this disappointing feature back in January 2008 as our first film based date and I was glad that the film was crap because we got to spend the whole time snogging. But you won't know that from the Warming Up entry, to find out the truth of that date you're going to have to buy How Not To Grow Up - what do you mean you haven't bought it yet. It's been out for over a year. It's only £6.39 - what are you waiting for? Yes, of course it's on Kindle (and only £4.49). Or for £65 I will come round to your house at bedtime for a month and read it to you. And for an extra £15.99 I will provide a happy ending. To the story. What were you thinking? Oh what do you take me for? It's £18.99 for that. I am funny. Is this thing on? Cumpkin. Moon on a stick etc.
Anyway if my grandchildren are reading this in 2062 and you're trying to think of a birthday present for my 95th birthday, then please don't get "Dan in Real Life" because a) it won't reawaken happy memories as I didn't really see anything beyond the first 15 minutes last time and b) your grandma is very old/dead now and I don't want to have to snog her any more. Get me American Werewolf in London and then I can at least enjoy the bit with Jenny Agutter in the shower and if I am a bit doo-lalley pretend that she used to go out with me.
It would have been hard for my girlfriend's grandma sitting watching Pinocchio in the cinema to imagine that one day she'd be able to watch that film in her own house on a television. By 2062, I assume, technology will have moved on so far that you will be in some kind of holodeck where you actually take part in the film you're watching. And I don't want to spend my whole time shouting at Steve Carrell for doing something so rubbish. But I do fancy being able to towel Jenny off as she gets out of the shower. Though she might be a bit disgusted if she spots what I up to whilst she's in there. And she probably doesn't want to look too closely at the towel.
Oh brave new world that has such wankaround holodecks in it.

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